Monday, February 06, 2006

Maybe next time I'll just say I prefer European Football.

I think I've done my last superbowl party.

I think I missed out on that young adult rite of passage, the keg party. If I had gone to more of them, I would have been more prepared for the general douchebaggery abounding.

Tell me...why do people want to freeze their asses off standing outside to try to fill their glasses with flat, disgusting beer? And please tell me that there is someone else out there in my age range who has never heard of a keg stand. Thank every god that ever was that I did not get roped into that shit. My friend did, but it's probably because she's cuter and less-standoffish.

I did manage to look nice last night. Sparkly black tank top, white fuzzy cardigan over, Jeans, boots. I even fixed my hair.
None of this did any good. Becuase that was just the WRONG audience for low-cut tank tops. I had 3 separate attempts for a feelski. I got annoyed and buttoned my sweater all the way up.

For a little while, I felt like my old self again. Not in a good way. Let's just say...'The Bitch Was Back'.

My friend was outside playing around with the guy who was hosting the party. When his roommate decided "Let's play football! For real!" and tackled her. She's recovering from a broken foot, for one. So I knew that was going to hurt. It felt like slow-motion as I saw his knee collide with her nose. Mac (my gracious host) and I rushed over and got her up. Mac took her to the bathroom to make sure the Walking Bottle of Jagermeister hadn't broken her nose. I stood outside and tried not to punch him in his stupid, drunk, retarded frat boy face.

"THAT. Was fucking RUDE."
"Wha? I do something?"

I wanted to turn green I got so angry. I wanted to bitch-slap him for every time my ex-boyfriend had broken into my house, or every time he fell asleep sitting straight up with the fucking stove on. Why can't everyone be a fun drunk like me? I giggle, I laugh, I spill things and occasionally flash people, though wether by accident or on purpose I'm not sure. Reports vary.

Needless to say I was never so happy to be home in my LIFE.

I hope Mac doesn't read this. And if he does...

Mac, dear. You put on what I'm sure what quite a good party. Just not for me. I've always been sort of an antisocial, when "social" involves beer and rambunctious boys. The food was quite tasty though! I did enjoy that queso dip you made! And the music selection was perfect! You know I could never get sick of Nelly!

That being said...

5 comments:

kimberlina said...

::attempts a feelski::

oh, oops! sorry, muscle spasm.

Bee said...

Oh Girl...quit frontin!

B.O.B.I. said...

:: attempts a feelski ::

:: doesn't apologize, but grins roguishly ::

Sorry you didn't have fun, baby. I'd've spirited you out of there post haste if I'd been there and known you weren't enjoying yourself.

I prefer parties (drinking parties) when everybody sits down and plays a game, be it a board game, a video game, or something stupid like quarters.

NO, I'm not playing that when I visit in March; I'm too fragile.

Kisses for your liver and kidneys, sweetness! KISSES!

Oh, hell, one for your mouth, too.

Bee said...

You should know I have a Law & Order:SVU drinking game.

Drink every time Ice-T says "perp".
Drink every time Chris Meloni gives a smouldering look.
Drink every time Mariska Hartigay looks horrified.
Drink every time someone says Munch is 'paranoid'.


You are SO going down!

Sleep Goblin said...

Dude, that drinking game would have you drunk in no time. That's like, all the show does! Not that I don't watch the re-runs at my mom's on cable. (I don't have cable.)

Anywho, I wanted to tell you that although I knew what a kegstand was, I just saw my first one in real life last year. I wasn't "cool" enough to be invited to kegstand parties, because I'd more than likely tell them what idiots they were.