Two Posts in one day. What a loser.

Courtesy of Ash, more distraction!

1. Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18 and find line 4.
"Her Lover, seated on the floor, his back propped against the ottoman over which she'd been thrust earlier in the evening, his legs drawn up and his elbows on his knees, was toying with the leather whip." - Story of O


2. Stretch your left arm out as far as you can, what do you find?
My poor, powerless Mac.

3. What is the last thing you watched on TV?
Law & Order: Criminial Intent (mmm MMM! Noth!)

4. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?
My cat attacking the bathroom rug. Little Bastard!

5. When did you last step outside?
About a half an hour ago.

6. Before you started this survey, what did you look at?
My Comments.

7. What are you wearing?
A white cotton Old Navy t-shirt, Supergirl boy briefs, Cherub knee socks.

8. Did you dream last night?
Yes.

9. When did you last laugh?
Last night, my B. always makes me laugh like a loon.

10. What is on the walls of the room you are in?
My tiki-man wall hanging, Starry night poser, some Griffin & Sabine artwork, a few original paintings.

11. Seen anything weird lately?
Actually, a few weeks ago I saw 2 separate 1-legged women in the same day. Bizarre.

12. What do you think of this quiz?
It's time-consuming

13. What is the last film you saw?
V for (Awesome)Vendetta

14. If you turned a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy?
Peter Jackson's beard? Dwight Yokam's hat? The Heart of the Ocean?

15. Tell me something about you that I don’t know.
In my world, cheese grows on trees.

16. If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt and politics, what would you do?
Help everyone find the middle ground.

17. Do you like to dance?
Cha-cha! Yeah I like to dance. My dances are silly. Ask Crystal, Ash, Skylar, or B.

18. George Bush.
Ew.

19. Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?
Claire

20. Imagine your first child is a boy, what would you call him?
Robert

21. Would you ever consider living abroad?
As long as by 'abroad' you don't mean 'Kazakhstan' then sure.

22. What would you want God to say to you when you reach the pearly gates?
St. Peter has the day off, how can I assist you?

23. 4 people who must also do this meme.
Oh, you guys have at it. Free for all!!!

Thankfully, Big Hair is not required.

My friends enjoy themed nights out, or at least nights with catchy titles. Although Dominos Death Match was mine and no one can take it from me!

Tonight is Lounge Night. The theme is Loveboat-esque lounging. We plan to dress in style (mens must be suited in a leisure fashion, womens must have sequins!) and hit every hotel lounge in the 'old' part of town. I can't surmise the point of all this except it's an excellent photo op. I'm going, if for no other reason than to follow Sleepy's advice and get out of the damned house!

Some of these lounges are Karaoke bars. If your're curious, I plan to sing 'Took the Words Right Out of My Mouth' by Meatloaf.

Aaah. Meatloaf.

ALSO...Not sure how long this link is good for, but here is an article from MTVU featuring my baby brother (Jay Lewis - WUTK, Knoxville, TN). I'se so proud! ::beams::

These days...

I'm tired of crying for no reason! In one respect, I've never been so happy in my whole life. But I'm stuck in this limbo, like I'm waiting for my life to start.

I know there is a light at the end of this stupid tunnel, I just can't seem to see it!

[EDIT]: I found an aid for my above-mentioned problem...MONEY!!! I made my first sale today!

My forehead says "Losers! Flock Here!"

Working from home is proving more difficult that I thought. I have to make myself walk away from the computer, and sit down in the kitchen to work. Otherwise I'll spend all day on Blogger and Television Without Pity. A few things that happened yesterday that just screams "FUN!" (and also, 'pattern!'), my ex-boyfriend called me. He wanted relationship advice, of all things. Fine, whatever, happy to help, what's the problem?

"She's tall." And this is a problem?
"She's taller than me." Um. Okay.
"I'm a little bit scared of her." Then...maybe? You shouldn't be dating her! Moron!

Just before I dislodge myself from this oh-so-fascinating discussion, he blurts out

"So when are we gonna knock boots?" Ex-fucking-scuse-me?!?!?

I said "Uh. NEVER. And I can't believe you'd even ASK. You KNOW I'm with someone!!!" At which point he tried to play it off with a "oh you know I'm playin" but by then I had had enough.

So the rest of the night played out as usual. I did some more beadwork, made chili, watched TV and talked to My Heart (who, by the way, I'm so grateful for. Do you guys REALIZE how amazing this guy is?!?). At about 8:00 p.m. I started getting phone calls from this number I didn't recognize. Being a screener, I didn't pick up. Whoever it was didn't leave a message so I didn't pick up the next time they called, half an hour later. They called again at 9, at 9:15, 10:00, and so on. By the time I was ready for bed I was good and pissed. I told Brian that if that damned phone woke me up whoever was on the other end was going to get orally reamed by yours truly.

Guess what?!?

It DID wake me up. I picked up the phone ready to shout "What the Fuck is your PROBLEM?!? Did your mother have any children that Lived???"

It was my cousin Jon. Oops!

Although in retrospect I should have just hung up on him since the only time he ever calls me (once a year, MAYBE) is when he's drunk, high, or both, as I suspect he was last night. Why must I be related to crazy drunk people?!? He wants Brian and I to come 'crash at his place', which I'm sure is a fleabag, and 'drink moonshine'. I'm NOT making this shit up! Moonshine! And for some insane reason, he always wants me to call him "Uncle Jon", at which point I have to shout "You are only FIVE YEARS older than me, asshole! And besides that, we're first cousins!"
THEN he starts on the "you should go back to school" (which is coming out so slurred it sounds like 'nu slhould oh ack schhhholll').

Why is it I'm always being told what's wrong with my life by the most fucked up people in the universe?

Anyway, I'm not upset about it now. I talked to B. right afterwards and was calmed down considerably. So this is for you, B! I love you!!!

Dull, mindnumbing, pleasant.

This weekend I had one major project. Beading my Batman cuff bracelets. I got one done, it took ALL WEEKEND. I had never done hand-beading before, and it turned out GREAT. I am so proud of it for my first project! Oh, would you like to see a picture? I'd love to show you one, but alas, no camera.

It was sort of a zen exercise. Sitting in front of Season 2 of Angel (thanks, Crystal!) and the repetitive action of sewing tiny little beads. It was dull, which is exactly what I wanted. I've been in such a wierd place since Brian left. I'm very lonely, I'm very sad, and the technical term for my current financial situation (despite my new job) is "in deep shit". So it was good to sit there for hours on end, doing something small, and detailed. Today I 'go back to work', and what I do is incredibly easy. I call people. But the way I feel now...I don't even want to do that. *sigh* At least my plane ticket for the end of april is confirmed now (Thanks, love!) and I'll be seeing my manz again very soon.

Sunday afternoon was my little bright spot in the weekend. I went to brunch at the Whig with Skylar and some friends. I had somewhere around 8 mimosas, and was close to being trashed at 1:00 on sunday afternoon. It was just so nice to be around a group of people, laughing my head off, being silly over a bowl of smoked-gouda cheese grits and a $1 mimosa. And? the upshot is I went ahead and had my hangover at about 5pm yesterday so I could get up bright & early today.

I hate bright & early. Stupid premature hangover!!!

[EDIT]Sally Makes a Good Point. Warning: May not be suitable for work/school/public viewing. No pictures, thank god.

Mixing it up a little bit

I decided to say g'bye to my punky torso and opt for something a little more feminine and spring-y. I'm still working out a few things, the titles are going bye-bye as soon as I get some 1-on-1 time with photoshop.

*sigh* To work with me.

::moves 3 feet to the left::

Columbia Craft Mafia

Skylar made this pillow, but more importantly, I ate almost all those cheese doodles.



Try to get over the fact that Sally is making that psychotic face...check out her shirt!



Elizabeth does beadwork and hairy mountain men. Not necessarily in that order.

Men! With their...SALES!

So I've learned a few things about being in sales, at least in the industry I'm training in.

Specifically I've learned that it's elitest, sexist, and at times downright racist. I make a total of 6 women on the sales team. Out of 60 reps. Makes me want to kick them in the balls, just a little bit.

Training has been taking up most of my week, tommorow I get to do the fun stuff, like Direct Deposit and I-9 forms. Also, my cards are ready! Bethies, Account Manager! Sounds so posh! I'm sure all my friends will love it!

Want to see the most wonderful thing ever?!?




I could do this every day for the rest of my life!

I am now "the man"

I got the job, making more money, doing more stuff than my old job.

It's hard to be really excited about it when I miss Brian so bad.

One thing that DOES excite me?!?

I'm getting my very own business cards. For the first time ever.

Hey thanks to everyone who let me pity-party yesterday. Hugs!

Snatching Myself Bald Again

While Brian is otherwise occupied I thought I'd take a second for blogging, since tommorow I've got actual work to do and I'll be going to Charlotte and back.


My father called earlier today, and asked to speak to Brian. I handed the phone over, all panicky and expecting the worst. What my father said was "It was nice to meet you. Have a safe trip back, we hope you had a great time." (to paraphrase) My father has never done that for anyone I've ever been involved with, ever. When I asked my mother why this time was so different, she said "He makes you happy."

We went to see 'V for Vendetta' tonight. When it was over we walked out of the theather with our arms around each other, going over little details about the movie, dinner plans, your basic small talk. As soon as we got in the car I started to cry, which I have continued to do since then.

That's the price you (or I, rather) pay for a perfect week.

Now if you'll forgive me, I must make with the spagetti & valium, so I won't be starving or having a nervous breakdown any time soon.

So EASY!!!

As I sit here in my pajamas typing this and sipping cranberry juice, Bobi is at the grocery store fetching supplies for dinner tonight. Now If I can get him to remember that thing about putting the seat down I'll be doing good.

We've had pretty much a perfect week. The beach could not have been more beautiful, and it was absolutely the best time I'd ever had around that much sand. One funny(ish) thing happened: while walking back from the beach on the boardwalk I caught movement out of the corner of my eye. I flung out my arm in the universal gesture for "stop walking right. fucking. now." and whispered "Don't. Mooooove" out of the corner of my mouth. A snake, large but not huge was moving from underneath the walkway to the nearby brush. It stopped for a moment and regarded us before deciding that maybe geek was NOT on the menu for today. As it moved along it's merry way i resisted (barely) the urge to hiss out "Thankssss", Harry Potter style. I thought it was cool. I think it freaked Bobi out a bit, but he's a good sport. I've loved having him here, and now can't wait until June. Although I know we'll be busy then, and there won't be as much goofing off and making googly-eyes, I'm going to keep plenty of time in my calender open for just such.

Because we're making everyone sick with the PDA's, and I can't get enough.

4 Bloggers Walk Into A Bar...

Last night was our big dinner at Ashley's, we had so much fun! Although it proves if anything that I am not cut out to be near anyone under the age of 20, as I kept yelling "What the FUCK?!?" and "my big ASS" in front of her boys. The moment I was threatened with a 'time out' I shut the fuck up all together.

Tara came along too, and I just had this perfect moment where the 4 people I love most in the world were in one room, and it made me so happy and so sad at the same time. *tear* I don't know if Tara, Crystal & Ashley even realize how much I am going to miss them!

Right now my manz is snoozing while I put off getting ready for a job interview. I can't even say how much I love him being in the next room, or nearby at all. It's what makes a difficult decision easier. Yesterday we nauseated diners at the Original Pancake House with our hand holding and googly-eyes, but our waitress thought it was cute so she kept bringing us free food. Free pancakes for the win!

A few side notes about the Minnesota kid's vacay:

- Must remember sunblock. My manz is pale.
- He likes my cats!
- I have lost (just about) every game we've played. Even the one game I was sure I would beat him at. Dammit!
- Cleaning my house for 2 days was completely pointless.
- I made him try grits, he liked them!
- Apparantely 78 degrees is "hot".

We've been taking losta pictures, but since my computer is so old & slow I think we'll just wait until we get to my parent's house today to post them.

My parent's are so excited they've prepared a fireworks display in his honor.

No, I'm not kidding.

2 Peas in a Pod! EEK! Pod People!!

Oh happy day! Bobi will be here saturday! Sans Adam, which is too bad, but kind of understandable. I. Am. So. EXCITED!!!

Just a few of the PG-13 festivies planned?

Saturday: There are no PG-13 Activities Planned for this day.

Sunday: Riverfront Park/Columbia Marionette Theater! Meet Tara, Skylar,possibly Alan (he might make it to town).

A tasty meal at Ashley's house. The lovely Crystal will of course be there. I am bringing my Trivial Pursuit: Pop Culture game. I suspect hilarity will, predictably, ensue.

Monday: Meet the parents! Watch in horror as my mother shows home movie of me with my Motley Crue T-shirt and sideways ponytail. And leggings. And knee-boots. All violently green.

Tuesday: Show Bobi this thing called an "Ocean". Also, it's Myrtle Beach so have plenty of specimen of "Redneck" to display as well. Go to Brookgreen Gardens, be awed.

Wednesday: Mr. B's Goodtime Karaoke Explosion! Art Baaaah!

Thrusday is as yet unplanned. Gotta leave some room for spontanaiety in there somewhere.

Friday: Informal gathering of loved ones for affordable snacks and beverage.

Saturday: St. Pat's festival in 5 points, maybe.

Of course this is all amenable to what Bobi wants to do. There are a lot of eating experiences thrown in there too, as anyone who knows me knows I love to eat!

On the menu is Beezers (ha!), Cracker Barrel (so the boy can try some Grits!), The Original Pancake House, Tama Hibachi, The Tea Pot. Also home-cooked foodstuffs prepared by me.

There could even be cookies.

Heh. I said "Wood"

Your Element is Wood

Your power colors: green and brown Your energy: generative Your season: spring Like a tree, you are always growing and changing. And while your life is dynamic, you are firmly grounded. You have high morals and great confidence in yourself and others. You have a wide set of interests, and you make for intersting company.

What Element Are You?

Happy!!!!

Oh I just got one of the most unexpected rushes of happiness EVER! I was prepared to do my sunday-night sadness routine.

Red wine? Check.
Depressing Mix CD found in Dad's car? Check.

So I was perusing my bloglinks and thought I would check on how Sleep Goblin was doing in France. Well, don't take my word for it, read for yourself!

I am so so so happy! I love it when things go right, the way they're suppossed to.

It makes me realize that as much as I play at being cynical and jaded, I'm still a romantic at heart.

And thank goodness for that!

Louder?

How catchy is that song "Pump It" by the Black Eyed Peas? Normally I haaaaaate them. But for some reason I can't get that stupid song out of my head.

Rip-off artists! Fergie is a pants pee-er! Hrmph.

I fell asleep at 9:00 last night!!! I haven't gone to bed that early in YEARS. And I slept hard, people. When Bobi called after work I was sleep-babbling at him, still being about 45% asleep. The one thing I do remember clearly about our conversation was him saying "HUH?" Sorry, Baby!

I am soooooo excited for Sleep Goblin! Right now she's in France with DS, and I can't help but get all girly and squealy about their reunion! Mostly because a week from tommorow, I'll be having a little reunion of my own. I. Can't. Wait.

More good news! I have a sort of job interview with this guy on monday. It's for a possible work-from-home job, and the company is my Former Employer's competition. Even better, it's the company my former boss (read: fratboy dickhead from hell) worked for. Fratboy Dickhead from Hell is being sued by former company. I have no shame in the fact that I take some delight in this. And I really hope I get the job, if for no other reason than the thought of Fratboy Dickhead from Hell finding out about it. I was the only person in the office he didn't feel was important enough to sign a Non-Compete agreement. Therefore I can work for competitor without threat of lawsuit. HA! I love it when people underestimate me.

Fucker.

Welcome to Cici's!!! May I have your Stomach Contents?!?

I have offically had tomato sauce on every freaking meal this week. I can honestly say I don't want to see another slice of pizza for a long. long. loooooooong time.

Also. As if I haven't had enough problems lately. I got a nosebleed today. My first one since...oh, 9th Grade? If I had a camera I would have had someone take a picture of me with wads of bloody tissue stuffed up my nose. Just to prove that it happened. And to gross people out. Grossing people out for the win!!!!

...

Sorry, I fainted. Could you please pass me those iron supplements? Thanks!

Oh! And one interesting little thing happened today. When I walking back from the break room 2 inspectors for OSHA came in for a surprise inspection, stating there had been a complaint. The office here is pretty clean and quite safe, with exception of one place. You know what I'm talking about.

I hope it's the attic.

Four days left and it's Bye-bye Landfill!!!

My New Idolatry

You must must must check out This, courtesy of Elizabeth, my new blogging obsession.

She makes the most clear and direct reasoning about ladies and their bodies I've ever heard.

It's taken me 28 years to get comfortable with my body, and I'm still not at 100%. But when I read what she had to say, it felt like a revelation. I DO cover up, I DO often feel shameful, because my body is not what society considers ideal. Question is...why the fuck should I care? And why the fuck should YOU care?

I have several close friends who obsess over this shit, on opposite ends of the spectrum. Some are obsessed with health and fitness and staying within those parameters as much as they can. These are girls who look fantastic even by the common standard, "the champange of bodies" if you will (Thanks E!) and still they obsess over every calorie. It's exhausting.

Then I have my other friends who are more like me...more 'fluffy' as Skylar would say. They refuse to wear shorts or tank tops when it's 108 degrees outside, and god forbid a bit of the belly should show. I'm counting myself in this group, specifically when it comes to swimsuits...Why would it be perfectly acceptable for Ashley (and Ash I'm not calling you out here, just using your name for an example because of your fabulous figure)to wear a sleeveless dress, or tank top, or shorts, or swimsuit and not me? Who am I offending so badly with my belly, thighs, and less-than-toned arms?
Me? Not likely. I refuse to allow myself to feel like I've committed some wrong by wearing revealing clothes.
Men? Most definitely not, though some men do prefer smaller women, there are plenty out there who like the curves.
So who the fuck is so offended by my body?

Other women, that's who. I hate to say it. But this is really the crux of my argument. My ex-boyfriend thought it would be fun to take me swimsuit shopping last summer. By the time we got home I was bawling and spent the next 2 days in bed. I felt like I had committed some terrible crime, and was being punished by having to look at my own body encased in lycra. And aside from that...If the day had gone differently, and I had purchased a suit and worn it to the beach, how many whispers would such a display get? Not from men, who seldom care as much, but from other women? The old "what made her think she could wear that?" God knows I've been guilty of such talk plenty (read: Heather). Why do we do that? What gives us the right?
Are we really all that bitchy? We will say the most evil things about our dearest friends, all because of appearance.

So I'm resolved to get the fuck over it, and I urge you all to do the same.

I'm totally buying a swimsuit this summer.