Thursday, January 19, 2006

Lost Spagetti!

My dear friend Skylar came over tonight to get caught up on Lost. My friends are such moochers. But she did bring This. Isn't it the cutest thing you've ever seen?? The dog is pretty adorable too. We don't get to hang out nearly enough anymore, but I do owe her a lot. Like, for instance the phrase "boobie starer". I never would have known what to call old men who can't seem to look you in the eye if not for her genius. Also, she put 2 of my articles up on Swanky Gruel, and upon hearing my cupboards were down to Cream of Mushroom soup, brought me some delicious, extra-meaty spagetti.

Memory Lane Time!

Skylar was temping at my former office, pre-firing, and we were standing outside smoking (back when I still did that. Not counting my birthday indiscretions) when an older, rather grizzled looking man pulled up in a big honkin pickup truck. He rolls down the window, oogles us for a second, then blurts out "Hey! Ya'll buy LASERS?" This is not as insane as it sounds, since the Pit of Despair actually had the word "Laser" in it's name. We just looked at each other for a second, puzzled. We looked back at said man and said, "Uh. What Kind of lasers?". He leered for a second then says "Laser GUNS, o'course!". We shifted uncomfortably, as we tend to do in the presence of pure madness. Me: Um. No. We deal mostly with printers. Him: guns?. Me: No. No guns. He leered again. Grunted and possibly groped that which had probably not been groped in some time. Him: A'ight then. (leaves). Skylar: What the fuck?
Me: shrugs

Hysterical Laughter Ensued, and thus was born a new phrase in the secret language of friends. If you're being cornered by a drooling lunatic who wants to have sex with your ears...that's a "Ya'll buy lasers?"

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