Punnygirl

Was thinking about love today. Not the companionable, peaceful, satiated kind of love but the self-depreciating, heart-wrenching kind of love that makes you constantly feel like you just got kicked in the balls (whether you have balls or not).

There's this guy I used to work with, who I have been very good friends with for a long time. Of course I've been completely in love with him for five out of the seven years we've known each other, and of course he's only ever "loved me as a friend".

I realized today, after he replied to my biannual "how are things" email how much I still love him, no matter how much he doesn't love me. He's not even that great of a guy! If you were to ask me now "WHAT is it about him you just can't live without?" I honestly wouldn't know what to tell you. I just feel like my heart is tied to a string, tethered to his.

Of course realizing this makes me feel even more like Ducky from Pretty In Pink.