Law & Order withdrawls! Damn You, Basketball!!!

In lieu of actually saying something, here are some pictures I took today...



Me and one of my Bestest friends in the world, Trevor.



My face always looks so damned ROUND next to Christina's! Dammit!



I get fuzzy love!



A cat. An Elephant. Some shoes.



Mister Grumpy Face!



Check out my Cheekbone!!!



Blue teardrop Necklace made by yours truly.



Bead necklace handcrafted and presented to Amber as graduation gift...also by me!

The Further Packing Adventures of Punkrakwbethies

I love how craft night at my house turns into Drinking & Dancing night at the Art Bar, but Hey! No complaints! I was wanting to go to my favoite place with my favorite girls (Read: Crystal, Ash, Kate, Tara didn't make it), and wouldn't you know that my last night (for who knows how long) at the Art Bar was also my first night Dancing with my Divas? We left around 12ish, when my eyes were beginning to sting from the smoke. I couldn't help feeling sad that a) this would probably be the last time in a looong time we all got to hang out together and b) Ash forgot her blasted camera! Seeing Crystal sipping a Jagerbomb while wailing "I Can't Chug!!!" was somehow worth it all. Take my word for it, it was SO CUTE!!!

Of course last nights festivies equaled me waking up feeling like I'd been steamrolled. I decided that twenty eight was indeed too old to be getting hangovers, and have therefore sworn off Jagerbombs.

Today I'm resisting the urge to go to the fabric stores (I found a reeeeallly great one in Northeast) and am instead packing. Today I've packed all the clothes except for what I'll wear this coming week, and the extra towels and sheets. If I could only get rid of some of this furniture I'd be blasted DONE! Then all I would have to do is sit back and craft until next saturday, when we'll be loading up the van. I've started doing Embriodery, and am now devouring the floss aisle at Hobby Lobby. I must get EVERY. FLIPPING. COLOR. EVAR.



NOOOOOO!!!!!

Speaking of...please check out Divas. I updated today. Go there. Or face my wrath, puny one!

Three Things to keep me from packing...

3 Names you go By: Beth, Bethies, Lynda

3 Screen Names you Have Had: Bee, Punkrawkbethies, The Moxie Proxy

3 Things you Like about Yourself: Geeky, Smarmy, Funny

3 Things you Don't Like about Yourself: whiny, bad speller, cranky

3 Parts of Your Heritage: Norwegian, Jewish, French

3 Things that Scare You: riding shotgun with my brother driving, clowns, roosters

3 of Your Everyday Essentials: Crafts, food of some sort, a nighttime bath

3 Things you are Wearing Right Now: skirt, t-shirt, flip-flops

3 of Your Favorite Bands or Musical Artists: Arcade Fire, Clap Your Hands Say Yeah, Radiohead

3 of Your Favorite Songs: "Tunnels" Arcade Fire, "Photobooth" Death Cab for Cutie, "Wig in a Box" Hedwig & the Angry Inch

3 Things you Want to Try in the Next 12 Months: Make some friends in a new city, teach Bobi how to cook, do some volunteer work.

3 Things You Want in a Relationship: Companionship, sense of humor, intellect.

2 Truths and a Lie: I prefer salty snacks to sweet snacks. I'd rather have Potato chips than Ice cream. I dislike chocolate.

3 Things about the Opposite Sex that Appeal to You: Brains, Brawn, Boink-ability.

3 Things about the Same Sex that Appeal to You: Ease of conversation, sense of humor, buy me lunch.

3 Things you Just Cannot Do: bring myself to do more packing today, rollerskate, live with my mother.

3 of Your Favorite Hobbies: Crafting, Cooking, Law & Ordering

3 Things You Want to do Really Bad Right Now: To see my manz, to hire a moving company, to go shopping for craft supplies.

3 Careers you are Considering: Freelance Blogger, Buyer, International Superstar

3 Places You Want to Go on Vacation: Europe, Japan, Aspen

3 Kids Names: Robert, Claire, Qwendravius 1-9

3 Things you Want to Do Before you Die: finish my degree, fix my credit, kiss my man.

3 Ways you are Stereotypically a Boy: I like beer, I like Pizza, I like sex.

3 Ways you are Stereotypically a Chick: I get irrational and cranky once a month, I like shopping, I collect shoes.

3 Celeb Crushes: James Marsters, Vincent D'Onofrio, Christian Kane

3 People You Would Like to Complete This Quiz: Lex Luthor, The Easter Bunny, My Gal Friday.

Packing

Unpacking is never a big deal to me, in fact that's my favorite part of moving. It's the packing that sucks. Weeding out all the stuff you don't need or want, wrapping the breakables, marking boxes, it all sucks.

Usually I'm able to be very business-like about it, but this time It feels so much more personal. It took me two years to turn my little apartment into home, and I AM going to miss the cheap rent and hardwood floors. Not to mention I've always loved Columbia, the perfect mix of city and town.

To celebrate the last two years, and give my apartment and Columbia the proper send-off, here are some of my favorite memories from this place:



Me, my short hair, my granny afgan and my fat cat.



Sometimes I hate 1950's advertising. Stupid disembodied head!!! This was at the Old Mill Antique Mall



Having my manz in my kitchen made me SO HAPPY!!!



Skylar and Yoshimi (a black belt in Karate) before the dog was banned from my house for making indoor poo.


Tiki man and Papsan Chair both fell victim to the Moving Sale. Farewell!!!



Yes, it's me in my underwear.



Tara and a very convincing Tammy Faye at Art Bar Halloween.



Two of my paintings.



Mollie and Buddy.



Another one of my paintings, along with the Drapes I made (thanks, Ash!) and the entertainment center I put together.



Me and Crystal look like an Orbit Commercial. Brilliant!

I get MAD Love!!!!

No matter what else happens for the rest of the day, even if it's news I don't want to hear about the apartment, NOTHING will bring me down after seeing This.

Bobi and Spinning Girl can BOTH stuff it!!! I've Got my OWN 'Ode to Me' Now! Well, maybe not so much an "Ode" as an "interperative dance", but in my opinion FAR better. Who needs stuffy old Odes anyway?

Ashley is way more than forgiven for missing my stupid moving sale for that! Girlfriend, where'd you learn to shake your booty like that?

Huge Hugs and Smiles all around!!!

Duck!

When I say "duck", I am not referring to the cute little waterfowl that waddles around going "wah-waaaah", I am referring to the act of taking cover or shielding yourself from potential airborn harm.

Like an egg.

Last night I was standing on my front porch with my friend Marc when I noticed an older vehicle driving ever so sloooooooowly past my house. A white, oval-shaped missle sailed over in my direction and hit the ground just a few feet away. The car sped up and Marc said "You just got EGGED!!! That was AWESOME"! Me, being sober, did NOT think it was entirely awesome. I opened my front door and said to Kate and Tara, "I don't think you'll believe what just happened to me. Seriously. Wildest Guess?"

Whoever threw the damn thing was aiming for ME, not the house, not Marc. Someone wanted to break an egg. On ME. Who would throw an egg at me?

Who indeed?

Photoramadamadingdong!

This past weekend, as I'm *sure* I mentioned, I went to visit my manz in MN. It was wonderful! The weather was in the upper 50's with a breeze and lotsa sunshine, we did much eating & drinking, I met and was well-recieved by family, and we had an otherwise NC-17 time.

We did however take a trip to the Sculpture Gardens in Minneapolis. Here are just a few photographic memos:


Prometheus strangles the Vulture statue.


This awesome Geo-dome thingie with lots of stuff "caught" in the dome portion. Here is a turtle.


My favorite! A big Glass Fish!!! Inside was sculpted metal and wood "innards". I could have sat down and stared at this for hours. Beautiful!!!


I am a master of Optical Illusion!!! Here I am at the famous Giant Cherry-On-A-Spoon Bridge/Fountain thingie.


Not taken at sculpture gardens, but on the Boy's previously-mentioned big overstuffed fake leather couch later that day. My forehead consists of what, like...70 percent of this picture? SADE!!!

Seriously. Shut up, dogs.

My poor feet! I wore heels all. day. When I took them off (FINALLY!!!) I was somewhat reminded of cartoon feet, all red and pulsing, with little shock lines coming off of them. One thing to add to my grocery list is Dr. Scholl's insoles for women. I bought a suit today, Yes! A suit! Mostly because for my work you have to have at least one very suity suit, and I've got two big client meetings on monday. And also because it was MAJORLY on sale at the Crate, which is a place I normally avoid like the plague. For some reason today I went in there and left with a very nice (too lazy to go check the label) suit for $31.00!!! It's also nice that this is the first time in...oh, three years that I've been able to shop at the Crate, due to the de-fattening of my ass. (Total weight lost since January: 19 lbs.)

Oh, and if you guys have been wondering where the pictures are from this past weekend's trek to MN, well...so have I. Bobi was suppossed to send them to me last night. I even made a special post-bedtime phone call to remind him. He's so adorably forgetful.

I have to be out of my apartment in 4 weeks. I haven't packed a damn thing. I've not prepared for my moving sale this weekend. I haven't been on the ball with my job. I've got so much to do.

I think I'll go get some chinese dumplings and watch Lost with Skylar.

Norse Grog for Your Ambulance Driver

It's 7:30 a.m. eastern-standard time. I was just sitting here, enjoying a cup o' thick & muddy (Norse Grog, compliments of B.'s mom, Delicious!) when someone starts pounding on my door.

I tiptoe to the front door and peek out the window. Where I see an ambulance. What the...? So I open the door a hair and look out. It's my friend Marc! Unexpected visits from friends are always nice...just more so when I've brushed my teeth and put on a bra and also more clothes. He laughed and said they had to drop off a patient at the nearby hospital and he thought they'd pull into my drive way with the sirens/lights going, except he didn't want to wake the crackheads. So I gave him some coffee and sent him on his merry. Boys. I suspect this was a fact-finding mission to see what my friend Kate told him about their outing to New Brookland Tavern this weekend.

I hate it when my friends make a Horses Ass out of themselves. And I'm not around to see it.

Has anyone seen the trailer for The Promise? It looks to be quite good.

Boys are dirty!

Let's just say that the red carpet was not quite as unfurled for the second visit, cleaning-wise.

That bathroom. Dear gods. Nothing will get that many layers of toothpaste globbies out of the sink short of napalm. And I CAN NOT stress enough, the importance of a bath mat.

Other than the messiness that is my love's apaprtment, it was the perfect weekend.

Per. Fect.

Here's something my manz concoted, with a little help from me.

1. The evil villain summons a ball of energy to destroy the Earth in five minutes. You…
a) Stall for time, knowing (like DBZ) this five minutes will take forty episodes.
b) Run like hell for that last piece of cake you were saving.
c) Selflessly throw yourself at the villain, only to find out he was just kinda gay for you.
d) Realize that you’ve been on peyote for, like, six days and it might be all in your head?
Of course I would normally go with D, peyote. However...what kind of cake are we talking about here? Because if "Cheese" or "Red Velvet" is the prefix, then most definitely B.

2. Waffles or a straight bottle of Worcesth… Worchse… Worschestshcesiter… you know what I’m asking.

Waffles, Belgian Waffles

3. 00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000?
a) Hair.
b) A bunny in a snowsuit?
c) I’ve determined the velocity of my homework so well that it could be anywhere in the universe.
d) Yitzak Rabin.

I will, of course go with my own answer, B. A bunny in a snowsuit.

4. You want soup or salad with that?

If you have Bleu Cheese Vineagrette, then salad. If you have Ministrone, then soup. If you have neither, then lemons. If you have both, then Billy Idol. With Lemon.

5. Of the movies, “Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves”, “I, Robot”, “Johnny Mnemonic”, and “Steel Magnolias”, which one would you most likely show at your nephew’s bris?

I have a nephew? What has my brother been up to? "School", indeed!

6.
a) You didn’t ask anything.
b) Yes, I did.
c) My hair smells like tumescence!
d) I always wear flip-flops in the shower!

After this weekend, I will always wear flip-flops in yourshower.

7. Alan Rickman stars in a new action/thriller/comedy/drama about a man with one leg who must save a young boy from his psychotic, axe-wielding mother at Christmas-time, all while resolving his commitment issues with his girlfriend, Shirlena. What is the title?

Moonstruck

8. Who would you more like to see as a Celebrity Jedi Chef? Dennis Hopper or Sidney Poitier?

Hopper. But only if he screams at the top of his lungs "HEINEKEN?!? FUCK THATSHIT!!! PABST BLUE RIBBON!!!

9. It’s about 50 ft at a 23 degree angle to the green. You’re in the rough, the sun is in your eyes, and there’s a stiff wind from the northeast. Do you
a) Call in an airstrike and nuke those bastards to hell!
b) Calmly inform Reginald that no, you won’t be having “the usual” today, and Susan can put away the bottles.
c) Slowly disrobe and adopt a pose of placid contemplation.
d) Hum the “Meow Mix” song.

Meow meow meow meow/meow meow meow meow/meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow!

(I actually had to hum that as I typed all those 'meows' to ensure I got it right)

10. You turn your Bag of Holding inside out, effectively creating an uncontained infinite space in a finite space. The limits of reality warp and you are now able to instantaneously go anywhere without moving at all. Where do you go besides Hoboken, NJ?

Billy Idol's Lemon Slice.

Greetings from MN!

Yesterday when I left Columbia it was already climbing rapidly twords 80 degrees. I would guesstimate it's in the lower 50's here. And it feels awesome. So far, other than the Hardest Seats Ever in the Beer Can of A Plane, it's been a great visit. I got to meet Tolbs! He is now my Jeopardy/Tetris coach.

Today at lunch I get to meet the family. Here's hoping all my food makes it to my mouth.

OH! And, as promised...Some of my painstakingly hand-made jewlery.

Green Beads
BALLS!!!
More Green Beads
Silver Triple-strand bracelet with amber beads

Two Numbered Posts In One Day!

Stolen from Spinning Girl, Six Oddities about myself.

1. I like to make words up and then force them into everyday jargon. Words like...Hellosical, The Meep-Meep, and Wibble. Okay, Wibble isn't mine, it's B's, but I still use it.

2. I am totally addicted to the VH1 "I love the ____" shows. The 70's, 80's, 90's, Holidays, Toys. And no matter how many times I've seen them, if they are on, I must watch. Call it a Hal Sparks thing.

3. I could eat Cool Whip by the gallon. PLAIN.

4. I find it completely impossible to sleep in the middle of the bed. I MUST have a side! But this frustrates me, because here I (or rather, my ex) paid for all this bed and there's half of it, just going to waste!

5. I really really love the smell of scotch tape. Smells like christmas.

6. My new obsession is making jewlery while watching stand up comedy. Of course this means it takes longer to make stuff, because everytime I laugh, beads go a'flying!

Things I will NOT miss about my neigborhood.

1. Police Cars blocking my driveway every other day. Dammit, Stay off of my lawn! Can't you see I'm growing Sand here?!?

2. The yard "maintenance" guy pointlessly weedeating in my backyard at 7:30 A.M.

3. Palmetto Bugs. They breed in the mounds of wet leaves the yard "maintenance" guy blows up against my house.

4. SAND!!!

5. Having 24-hour grocery store parking lot floodlights right outside my bedroom window.

6. People I've never met knocking on my door asking "You got a cigarette?" or "I have to pay my water bill, can I borrow $20?"

7. The constant stream of ambulances taking people to the hospital less than a mile away.

8. The Yuppies encroaching on my backyard. Damn Yuppies!

9. DOT paved my driveway and now my car scrapes worse than it did before.

10. I never get my mail.

Beep-Beep, Hee-Haw, The easter bunny done broke the law!

What a relaxing holiday!

Screaming Children and an average of 3 hours of sleep per night were balanced by seeing relatives and lotsa food. Also, awesome Mountainside flea markets! I got a ton of beads, some vintage buttons (not shirt buttons but pin-buttons) and some VERY old postcards (1907 and 1911), and a genuine Donna Reed Housewife Apron. Did I mention the part where I ate like Caligula? Show me to the vomitorium, please.

The good news is that I probably burned it all off by chasing after 8 & 6 year old cousins. ENERGY!!!

Oh that and one of my cousins and I participated in a little illicit fun, courtesy of Mother Nature, and afterwards spent a whole half an hour laughing over our respective weight losses.
"Dude! I was so fat before...I didn't even have a FACE!"
"Oh YEAH? I was so fat one time, I Popped the button off my jeans. Just by BREATHING."
"I want Ice Cream!"
"Me Too!"

Apparantly Bobi's Magic Buddies all found this hilarious. As if a bunch of grown men sitting around in a circle flinging dice and saying things like "damage" and "trample" isn't a laugh-riot.

I almost made it home without an "episode" from mother. Almost. She waited until we were about 3 miles from my house to start shrieking at us, wild-eyed and frazzled.
OOOH, So Close!!!

Self-Affirmation Friday!!!

So that's what Jesus was thinking when he & the Easter Bunny named it Good friday. They must have been chewing on some Fast Plants, playing cards with Santa and the Aposotles, and said "Hey, man. Is it Friday?" "yeah" "That's Good."

Of course I could be totally wrong and Easter is about Jesus being not dead anymore. Or something. OOPS! Lightning Bolt!

Anyway, despite having a terrible dream that my grandmother died (the one that died when I was a kid, oddly enough), I woke up in a fairly decent mood. And why not? In two hours time I will begin the Trek to Tennessee were I will be treated to Mountain air, Doting Aunts, and Free Radio Station Swag from my brother! That is after coffee. Coffee must be hawt. Must be strawng.

I'm still somewhat asleep.

Last night I hooked up Macsamillian the iMac and JOY! to see things in full color! I also got my photo printer working and printed pictures like a madwoman! When I'd had enough joyful printing (and had ran out of photo paper) I packed while watching An Affair to Remember, easily one of my favorite movies of all time. Except any part with children singing. Those parts I always fast forward. My friend Carrie called me halfway through the movie to ask me if I would help her write her self-affirmation. It's some kind of assignment. Aside from Stuart Smalley, I really fell short. The only things I could think of were really sarcastic, like "I'm too Punk for Self-Affirmation" or "At least I never got anything stuck in my Ass." (How's that one, Carrie?)

I then spent a fair amount of time on the phone with B, who is the most Sweetest, most funniest, most bestest man EVAR. To Me. I get to see him in Six days and I can't wait! Looking back it's so strange to see the time BEFORE we even started talking, our sweet beginnings, which turned into full-on CrazyPerson love! And now, our lives are about to be A LOT different, in a good way, because we decided to blog.

Thanks, Google!

Alright, I've got to get my self ready! Happy weekend everybody, and to those of you who celebrate it, Happy Easter! Don't O.D. on Cadbury!

Something Worth Sharing

I live for the double post these days!

See how mean I am to Ashley?

Bee says:
i'm trying to decide if I want wheat toast of if I want pasta orgy

Ashley says:
wheat toast I say.

Bee says:
pasta it is
Bee says:
I knew you'd pick the sensible dish

Bee says:
besides, I have to eat that sauce, I'm going out of town tommorow and it won't be any good!

Ashley says:
ha ha! you're not right!
You know how I am

Bee says:
if it makes you feel better, it's wheat pasta

Ashley says:
woo!! EVEN BETTER! Best of both worlds high five!


Bee says:
i mean, all pasta is made from wheat

Bee says:
but this is actually WHEAT pasta

Ashley says:
well technically yes, but "wheat pasta" is so much better for you

Bee says:
and so much more vile-tasting, hence the ton of my homemade sauce i plan to pile on top of it

Ashley says:
it isn't vile tasing... I like wheat, it tastes sweet to me.

Bee says:
:: shudder ::

Bee says:
it's horrid

Ashley says:
you must be buying some crazy brand of pasta then, caus I like it.

Bee says:
it's the Barillia

Ashley says:
hmm, well I don't know why it's yucky to you then. Oh well. It's gonna have to be a wheat controversy cause I like it.

Bee says:
you might as well just start eating bean curd on gluten-free crackers, you hippie freak!

To quote Kimberlina..."AIIIEEEEE!!!"

I have WORK to do! And here I sit, pointlessly blogging. I also have things to do which I never look forward to, that being Ironing clothes (yech) and packing to go to Tennessee for the Easter Holiday. That's where I spent my first easters as a little girl, in my sweet little dresses, complete with frilly socks and white mary janes. My mom KNEW how to dress a little girl.

The problem arrived when I became a teenager.

Lumpy, oddly-shaped, uncomfortable with my new...attributes, finding a dress to wear to church on Easter sunday became an Act of Congress. At 13 I had just begun to loathe pink, which I would not fully appreciate again until my mid 20's (or, more accurately, until Legally Blonde) and the only colors I wanted to don were white (which, if you're lumpy and oddly-shaped, you know how disasterous white can be) and Army Green. Where and why my obsession with Army Green began I'll never know. I can only look back and see my mother and aunt standing outside the dressing room at Goody's, their faces buried in their hands to supress the shrieks of sheer frustration. And me, wearing an Army green shirtdress, with a mile-wide belt (HUGE gold buckle) standing there saying "WHAT?!?"

No wonder my mom started going gray so early. Sorry, mom.

Next week will be another short week, for Friday I will be flying on the miraculous NonStop flight to MN, to see My Manz. Has anyone else besides me noticed the suspicious lack of Manz? Manz gone Missing!

Work, Shmurk

I've got stuff to do today, but I want to entertain! So here, amuse yourselves with Freaky Franks! I want to hear what everyone's favorite frank was too!

Hours of fun! I promise!

My Other Car Is Your Dad's Boner!

Not-A-Finger has made another post! Oh Joy! Please do me this one favor and read! And then wet your pants! (Cause, funny!)

To Quote...


"Does Proverbs not say, 'A man who cannot smell the hissing bacon of sin will never hunger for it; a man who cannot close his eyes against the light of God will be cured like ham and enter heaven through the delighted nostrils of the LORD'? I'm pretty sure it does."

T.G.I. Tuesday!!!

Courtesy of Crystal, Courtesy of Sanshu...

1. Who was your first prom date?
Damon Hylton. He of the pink teeth and dandruffy head.

2. Who was your first roommate?
Tawanna Nichols, my freshman year at USC.

3. What alcoholic beverage did you drink when you got drunk the first time?
Something called 'Party Juice'. The first time I ever got drunk I was 15, at a party in a cabin, and there were only 2 other girls there. Scary.

4. What was your first job?
Putting letters on T-shirts at the flea market.

5. What was your first car?
1966 Ford Falcon. Blue, white top, primer gray all over! Rust. Bucket.

6. When did you go to your first funeral?
I was 11, the guy who had worked for my dad since I was a kid passed away.

7. How old were you when you first moved away from your hometown?
8, we moved to a town 30 miles away. Then we moved back 3 years later.

8. Who was your first grade teacher?
Mrs. Adams. She was funny. That's all I remember.

9. Where did you go on your first airplane ride?
Chicago, IL to see my brother graduate Basic Training.

10. When you snuck out of your house for the first time, who was with you?
I was a lone agent.

11. Who was your first Best Friend and are you still friends always?
Tara. We've been friends since 1st grade, we live next door to each other, we talk on the phone every day.

12. Where did you live the first time you moved out of your parents house?
Dorm Room.

13. Who is the first person you call when you have a bad day?
Brian. He's very calming. Usually.

14. Who's wedding were you in the first time you were a bridesmaid or a groomsmen?
I never have been because my friends keep Eloping! DAMMIT!!!!

15. What is the first thing you do in the morning?
Make Coffee

16. What was the first concert you ever went to?
New Kids on the Block. Joey! Jordan! Jonathan! Donnie aaaaaaaand Danny!!!

17. First tattoo or first piercing?
Ears pierced in 7th grade, first tattoo at 19.

18. First celebrity crush?
Alan Alda. *Sigh* Hawkeye.

19. First crush?
Daniel Watson. Hee!

20. First love?
Dennis, my first 'real' boyfriend, and one of the (VERY) few Nice Guys I ever dated.

I had a really, really, reeeeeeealy bad day yesterday. Today I'll be working from the comfort of my bed. Mostly because I broke my cordless phone and the only other phone I have is in the bedroom. The point is, family makes you crazy faster than anything can. I had arguments with both my parents yesterday and no matter how much I feel that I was in the right, I still feel bad about arguing. And I'm usually the first to apologize. Dammit. Skylar was here last night when I had my *oh so fun* conversation with my dad. Afterwards we sat on the couch, I was sort of numbly making a bracelet for B.'s sister when Skylar blurts out "Girl, we have GOT to get happier!". And I couldn't agree more.

Constant Comments!!!

I know Crystal and others have mentioned this already, the comments seem to have trickled down to just above nil lately. I know one reason is that Dane no longer comments, which is sad because he left some good ones. This prompted me to review old comments, plus I've been trying to straighten out my layout, so I like to check my archives from time to time.

So maybe this *is* a tad self-indulgent. Well, to hell with ya'll. I AM self-indulgent. Here are my mostest favorite comments EVAR!!!

i'm touched. what is this salty discharge from my eyes? am i crying? omg, i DO have a heart! so there world!

Adam in re: Stop Me Before I Hit the Pay-Per-View!

*

What'd I say?

C'mon, man, she digs us or something... she'll forgive a few irascible comments.

I think.

Maybe.

Right, honey-snookums-hot-momma-jim-jam?

Sorry, not entirely sure where that came from.

Ok, I'm done.

That's none other than BOBI in re:Wicked Trio.

*

That's so awesome Beth! Have I ever told you I think you're the best thing south of space? I do. I can see why he'd care about you like that. Poor guy though.

Ash thinks I'm the best thing south of space!!! ME!!! From Love, Again.

*

Oh Lord *eye rolling*
Get a room!

Crystal re: To Hell With Work


What fun is a tender lover? :( Bring on the freak!!

Crystal, Again in re:Where is that Drum I need to bang all day?

*


Insanity??!!??

Neigh, my friend. That would be genius. I know you lower sorts sometimes get that confused, but trust me, I know what I'm talking about it.

Sleepy G

i love your old photos! your shoes totally rock and i am jealous that your first perm looks WAY better than my first perm.

i think my first perm was a mullet. a body-wave asian mullet.

::shudder::

Kimberlina

Both in Re: Pictacles!!!.

*


You, my friend, have champagne boobs! I'm glad what I was trying to say came across...sometimes I wonder.

Also, a brief anecdote: I got a double order of fries with my veggie burger at lunch yesterday (weird period craving...I rarely want them), and I had a pang of shame/guilt when ordering them from the gorgeous blond wairess, knowing what was probably going through her mind. Then I remembered I don't care what she thinks and flashed her a "Yeah, I eat fucking fries, jealous much?" smile. Those fuckers were good, too.

Old Hobo, aka E-Ray in re:My New Idolatry.


brian + fireworks = bad idea. :: fond memories of a young bobi lighting his shirt on fire ::

Tolbs in re: 4 Bloggers Walk Into A Bar....

Have you all enjoyed my shameless self-promotion? I hope so. It's sunday morning, I started this on friday afternoon. I didn't so much spend all weekend on it though. Let's just say I'm getting pretty damn good at beadwork. Yesterday was so rainy and Nasty, there was just nothing I felt like doing other than cleaning out underneath my bed. I found my eyeglasses!!! Also, there was a domestic distrubance on the ajoining apartment of the duplex I live in. My neigbor Linda has a grown son, and she's separated from her husband Phil. Sometimes she lets Phil sleep on her couch. For some reason yesterday her son tried to kill her husband, I saw Phil outside in the front yard, holding a bloody rag to his arm. The son was also outside, jumping around and yelling at the father. The cops came, two of them, parked right in my front yard. Then the ambulance. Then the whole neighborhood came outside to see what was going on now.

Sometimes, I really do hate where I live.

Today I'm supposed to have a date with Ashley, and am going to look for some Blue & Silver beads for stuff I'm working on for B.'s sister and cousin. He tried to get me to talk to them last night, but I wasn't feeling so hot, and didn't want anyone to think I always sound like a treefrog. We did talk some via B. and established that sister (Molly, was it?) likes Brunch. I adore brunch! So there, common ground.

Also, in the spirit of shameless self promotion...please visit the DIVAS blog to read all about my Top 5 favorite albums by female artists!


Whee!

Personally, I blame Katie Couric. For everything.

I can't stop eating the Jimmy Dean sausage mini-biscuts Skylar left at my house! They're so salty! So Fluffy! DAMMIT, Hormonal Cravings!!!

If you have not already, please visit my Target wish list, I have kindly added the link . I really want the Hello Kitty Sewing machine. Even though I just got a sewing machine. I want THAT one. In case anyone feels like getting me a going-away present. Or a housewarming present. Or a present.

I emailed my Old Friend, J., to let him know I was leaving in May. I haven't seen or spoken to him since January, but this is not too out of the ordinary for us. Let's see if he tells me to go to hell. I certainly hope not, but It wouldn't be unexpected. Also, he's going to laugh his ass off when he finds out I'm moving to Minnesota. I fully expect to hear something snarky, possibly even mean about myself and parkas. *sigh*

The current task at hand is weeding out all the stuff I want to get rid of. I find that this activity frequently takes me longer than a weekend, In fact it takes WEEKS. Mostly because you can't just SORT books, pictures, cds, etc. without the inevitable trip down memory lane. Then you have to drag your friends along with.
Example: Going through shoes, find Gold heels. Call friend. Say "remember that time at blue martini where you went to sit down and your pants ripped?" and so on and so on. I wish I could be more impersonal with my stuff. It is, after all, just stuff. But most of the things I have I've had to work for. They have memories attached to them, they mean something to me. Which is why it's difficult to see them go.

Of course, when I start down that path all I have to think is "One Bedroom Apartment" and it's magically better.

Stupid. Wierd. Dreams.

I dunno if it was the leftover chinese take out I had for dinner, or all the hormones leaving my system, but I had a truly effed up dream last night.

We were having some kind of family reunion, but for some reason it was at my parent's office? My ex-husband and his wife were staying in my old bedroom (which is disturbing enough as it is) and my mother wouldn't come out of that room, because apparantly they brought the baby as well. I don't think that B. was in the dream, but I know that I was aware of him, like I kept saying "If B. were here then I'd have someone to hang out with". The front yard kept flooding. Like, REALLY flooding. As in Huge Oceanic swells that seemed to pick only me up, there was a group of guys standing on one part of the yard talking, and for some reason the water never touched that spot. OH! And for some reason when I was Outside it was my grandparent's front yard in Orlando. But I was getting picked up by all this water, and I'd look down and see that I was in an innertube, so I wouldn't worry, I'd just kind of bob along and yell down to the guys in the front yard "Hey! You guys should try this!". Then I'd get bored and go inside to find my dad, who was playing Memory with Grandma, only they called it 'Jungle Jim' for some reason and my grandma was dressed up from the 50's, including her hair. I got upset, Mom came out of the frigging newlywed suite to tell me that I had to see a psychic, and sent me packin. At which point I think I woke up. But I can't be sure.

Still...no clowns, no Druscilla, and no Freddy Krueger. Could have been worse.

Think-Of-Something-To-Do-And-See-That-Task-To-Completion!!!!!

I Love, love, love LOVE David Cross. A sorely underappreciated man, in my book. If you have the time, and enjoy lively debate, please read David Cross' open letter to Larry the Cable Guy.

That guy isn't even from the south!!! I feel so vindicated now!

I finally spoke with my brother last night. We've been doing the careful dance of avoidance since he told me he was flat-out against me moving. He said (to paraphrase) He didn't want for me to move because we'd never see each other. I reminded him we hadn't seen each other since January, despite the fact he only lives 4 hours away.
I'm going to try to get up there for a visit before his big fantastic New York summer (he's in the front running for a summer internship at MTV!) and make sure we do lots of brother-sister bonding stuff. Which to him will probably involve a water bong and a serious discussion on whether or not Radiohead was partially influenced by Steely Dan (I vote 'no' on this).

I got a surprise in the mail monday from B...PAJAMAS!!! The silk Dragon-print pj's I wanted from target. I was going to post a picture of them but target isn't showing the photo on their website, bastards! Also a very sweet card that made me go "wibble". Only two and a half more weeks until our next visit, then hopefully just a few more weeks until the final move. We've pushed the date forward, because I couldn't see any reason why not to. Anyone who has ever lived in SC in the summer knows that late may through mid november is not a good time for moving, it's a good time for heat stroke.

Fun with Insomnia

I stole this from Sleep Goblin...or from DS via Sleep Goblin...



It's a smelly robot!

I've been up since 4 a.m. and I'm feeling slightly pensive. The 'basket case' comment in previous entry relates to the fact that birth control is evil, evil stuff. Obviously my body is rejecting the great heaping mounds of extra hormones I'm trying to feed it every night, because it's making me insane. I have very little control over the things I say lately, which is not good. I've been somewhat depressed (part of it due to missing B. so much) and anxious. Also, I've had a lot of problems health-wise since I started taking them. Headaches, nausea, and oh! yeah, Insomnia. Plus, it makes me mean.

So no more of that! I'm going to try the Nuva-ring thingie. I hear it feels...odd to say the least but it's all localized hormones, so it will be worth it to me to not be fucking CRAZY. When I start blathering about demons in my toilet, maybe you guys should just go ahead and call my mother, okay?

This is so Hott!

Check This out! Hott! You know you can't resist.

In other news, I'm a basket case!

There Can Be Only One. Also, lots of windows break.

Since Adam seems to have quit with the Movie of the Week feature, I thought I would do one in his stead. Today AMC featured Highlander and I couldn't help but watch. I love this movie!

Clancy Brown is in my top 5 favorite actors, and as the Kurgan he is just BAD. ASSED! Christopher Lambert, who is suppossed to be the hero, somehow comes off being just about as creepy. I think it has something to do with how his eyes are all close together, and he's always wearing a trench coat. Also, 16th-century Scottish Priests had mohawks. Rawk! I love the chick with shoulderpads, I love the swords, I love the animated lightning, and I love love love the Queen sountrack! Don't you find it hilarious that SHOWERS of sparks come shooting out of everything they hit with their swords, including human flesh?


EEEEE!!!!

Obligatory Christian Slater Entry

Last night did not quite pan out as I had anticipated. I ate some not-great chicken that had me so nauseated I was seconds away from channeling Shannen Doherty in Heathers ('Careful Heather, you might be digesting'). So I did not get to attend lounge night. But I won't be bummed because from all the chatter about it, I would have been like...the 5th wheel. Or 7th. An odd wheel.

Tonight I'm hosting movie night. I'm thinking I may go with the Bonnie & Clyde theme but really, that would take like a whole week. And how would I pick out the best ones? Let's say these are the finalists:

- True Romance
- Love & a 45
- Guncrazy
- Natural Born Killers

And I know there is probably like, a ton more than that. Although out of all those I liked True Romance the best.

I'm picking up on a theme for this entry, Christian Slater. (Did anyone ever see Julian Po?)

Two Posts in one day. What a loser.

Courtesy of Ash, more distraction!

1. Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18 and find line 4.
"Her Lover, seated on the floor, his back propped against the ottoman over which she'd been thrust earlier in the evening, his legs drawn up and his elbows on his knees, was toying with the leather whip." - Story of O


2. Stretch your left arm out as far as you can, what do you find?
My poor, powerless Mac.

3. What is the last thing you watched on TV?
Law & Order: Criminial Intent (mmm MMM! Noth!)

4. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?
My cat attacking the bathroom rug. Little Bastard!

5. When did you last step outside?
About a half an hour ago.

6. Before you started this survey, what did you look at?
My Comments.

7. What are you wearing?
A white cotton Old Navy t-shirt, Supergirl boy briefs, Cherub knee socks.

8. Did you dream last night?
Yes.

9. When did you last laugh?
Last night, my B. always makes me laugh like a loon.

10. What is on the walls of the room you are in?
My tiki-man wall hanging, Starry night poser, some Griffin & Sabine artwork, a few original paintings.

11. Seen anything weird lately?
Actually, a few weeks ago I saw 2 separate 1-legged women in the same day. Bizarre.

12. What do you think of this quiz?
It's time-consuming

13. What is the last film you saw?
V for (Awesome)Vendetta

14. If you turned a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy?
Peter Jackson's beard? Dwight Yokam's hat? The Heart of the Ocean?

15. Tell me something about you that I don’t know.
In my world, cheese grows on trees.

16. If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt and politics, what would you do?
Help everyone find the middle ground.

17. Do you like to dance?
Cha-cha! Yeah I like to dance. My dances are silly. Ask Crystal, Ash, Skylar, or B.

18. George Bush.
Ew.

19. Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?
Claire

20. Imagine your first child is a boy, what would you call him?
Robert

21. Would you ever consider living abroad?
As long as by 'abroad' you don't mean 'Kazakhstan' then sure.

22. What would you want God to say to you when you reach the pearly gates?
St. Peter has the day off, how can I assist you?

23. 4 people who must also do this meme.
Oh, you guys have at it. Free for all!!!

Thankfully, Big Hair is not required.

My friends enjoy themed nights out, or at least nights with catchy titles. Although Dominos Death Match was mine and no one can take it from me!

Tonight is Lounge Night. The theme is Loveboat-esque lounging. We plan to dress in style (mens must be suited in a leisure fashion, womens must have sequins!) and hit every hotel lounge in the 'old' part of town. I can't surmise the point of all this except it's an excellent photo op. I'm going, if for no other reason than to follow Sleepy's advice and get out of the damned house!

Some of these lounges are Karaoke bars. If your're curious, I plan to sing 'Took the Words Right Out of My Mouth' by Meatloaf.

Aaah. Meatloaf.

ALSO...Not sure how long this link is good for, but here is an article from MTVU featuring my baby brother (Jay Lewis - WUTK, Knoxville, TN). I'se so proud! ::beams::

These days...

I'm tired of crying for no reason! In one respect, I've never been so happy in my whole life. But I'm stuck in this limbo, like I'm waiting for my life to start.

I know there is a light at the end of this stupid tunnel, I just can't seem to see it!

[EDIT]: I found an aid for my above-mentioned problem...MONEY!!! I made my first sale today!

My forehead says "Losers! Flock Here!"

Working from home is proving more difficult that I thought. I have to make myself walk away from the computer, and sit down in the kitchen to work. Otherwise I'll spend all day on Blogger and Television Without Pity. A few things that happened yesterday that just screams "FUN!" (and also, 'pattern!'), my ex-boyfriend called me. He wanted relationship advice, of all things. Fine, whatever, happy to help, what's the problem?

"She's tall." And this is a problem?
"She's taller than me." Um. Okay.
"I'm a little bit scared of her." Then...maybe? You shouldn't be dating her! Moron!

Just before I dislodge myself from this oh-so-fascinating discussion, he blurts out

"So when are we gonna knock boots?" Ex-fucking-scuse-me?!?!?

I said "Uh. NEVER. And I can't believe you'd even ASK. You KNOW I'm with someone!!!" At which point he tried to play it off with a "oh you know I'm playin" but by then I had had enough.

So the rest of the night played out as usual. I did some more beadwork, made chili, watched TV and talked to My Heart (who, by the way, I'm so grateful for. Do you guys REALIZE how amazing this guy is?!?). At about 8:00 p.m. I started getting phone calls from this number I didn't recognize. Being a screener, I didn't pick up. Whoever it was didn't leave a message so I didn't pick up the next time they called, half an hour later. They called again at 9, at 9:15, 10:00, and so on. By the time I was ready for bed I was good and pissed. I told Brian that if that damned phone woke me up whoever was on the other end was going to get orally reamed by yours truly.

Guess what?!?

It DID wake me up. I picked up the phone ready to shout "What the Fuck is your PROBLEM?!? Did your mother have any children that Lived???"

It was my cousin Jon. Oops!

Although in retrospect I should have just hung up on him since the only time he ever calls me (once a year, MAYBE) is when he's drunk, high, or both, as I suspect he was last night. Why must I be related to crazy drunk people?!? He wants Brian and I to come 'crash at his place', which I'm sure is a fleabag, and 'drink moonshine'. I'm NOT making this shit up! Moonshine! And for some insane reason, he always wants me to call him "Uncle Jon", at which point I have to shout "You are only FIVE YEARS older than me, asshole! And besides that, we're first cousins!"
THEN he starts on the "you should go back to school" (which is coming out so slurred it sounds like 'nu slhould oh ack schhhholll').

Why is it I'm always being told what's wrong with my life by the most fucked up people in the universe?

Anyway, I'm not upset about it now. I talked to B. right afterwards and was calmed down considerably. So this is for you, B! I love you!!!

Dull, mindnumbing, pleasant.

This weekend I had one major project. Beading my Batman cuff bracelets. I got one done, it took ALL WEEKEND. I had never done hand-beading before, and it turned out GREAT. I am so proud of it for my first project! Oh, would you like to see a picture? I'd love to show you one, but alas, no camera.

It was sort of a zen exercise. Sitting in front of Season 2 of Angel (thanks, Crystal!) and the repetitive action of sewing tiny little beads. It was dull, which is exactly what I wanted. I've been in such a wierd place since Brian left. I'm very lonely, I'm very sad, and the technical term for my current financial situation (despite my new job) is "in deep shit". So it was good to sit there for hours on end, doing something small, and detailed. Today I 'go back to work', and what I do is incredibly easy. I call people. But the way I feel now...I don't even want to do that. *sigh* At least my plane ticket for the end of april is confirmed now (Thanks, love!) and I'll be seeing my manz again very soon.

Sunday afternoon was my little bright spot in the weekend. I went to brunch at the Whig with Skylar and some friends. I had somewhere around 8 mimosas, and was close to being trashed at 1:00 on sunday afternoon. It was just so nice to be around a group of people, laughing my head off, being silly over a bowl of smoked-gouda cheese grits and a $1 mimosa. And? the upshot is I went ahead and had my hangover at about 5pm yesterday so I could get up bright & early today.

I hate bright & early. Stupid premature hangover!!!

[EDIT]Sally Makes a Good Point. Warning: May not be suitable for work/school/public viewing. No pictures, thank god.

Mixing it up a little bit

I decided to say g'bye to my punky torso and opt for something a little more feminine and spring-y. I'm still working out a few things, the titles are going bye-bye as soon as I get some 1-on-1 time with photoshop.

*sigh* To work with me.

::moves 3 feet to the left::

Columbia Craft Mafia

Skylar made this pillow, but more importantly, I ate almost all those cheese doodles.



Try to get over the fact that Sally is making that psychotic face...check out her shirt!



Elizabeth does beadwork and hairy mountain men. Not necessarily in that order.

Men! With their...SALES!

So I've learned a few things about being in sales, at least in the industry I'm training in.

Specifically I've learned that it's elitest, sexist, and at times downright racist. I make a total of 6 women on the sales team. Out of 60 reps. Makes me want to kick them in the balls, just a little bit.

Training has been taking up most of my week, tommorow I get to do the fun stuff, like Direct Deposit and I-9 forms. Also, my cards are ready! Bethies, Account Manager! Sounds so posh! I'm sure all my friends will love it!

Want to see the most wonderful thing ever?!?




I could do this every day for the rest of my life!

I am now "the man"

I got the job, making more money, doing more stuff than my old job.

It's hard to be really excited about it when I miss Brian so bad.

One thing that DOES excite me?!?

I'm getting my very own business cards. For the first time ever.

Hey thanks to everyone who let me pity-party yesterday. Hugs!

Snatching Myself Bald Again

While Brian is otherwise occupied I thought I'd take a second for blogging, since tommorow I've got actual work to do and I'll be going to Charlotte and back.


My father called earlier today, and asked to speak to Brian. I handed the phone over, all panicky and expecting the worst. What my father said was "It was nice to meet you. Have a safe trip back, we hope you had a great time." (to paraphrase) My father has never done that for anyone I've ever been involved with, ever. When I asked my mother why this time was so different, she said "He makes you happy."

We went to see 'V for Vendetta' tonight. When it was over we walked out of the theather with our arms around each other, going over little details about the movie, dinner plans, your basic small talk. As soon as we got in the car I started to cry, which I have continued to do since then.

That's the price you (or I, rather) pay for a perfect week.

Now if you'll forgive me, I must make with the spagetti & valium, so I won't be starving or having a nervous breakdown any time soon.

So EASY!!!

As I sit here in my pajamas typing this and sipping cranberry juice, Bobi is at the grocery store fetching supplies for dinner tonight. Now If I can get him to remember that thing about putting the seat down I'll be doing good.

We've had pretty much a perfect week. The beach could not have been more beautiful, and it was absolutely the best time I'd ever had around that much sand. One funny(ish) thing happened: while walking back from the beach on the boardwalk I caught movement out of the corner of my eye. I flung out my arm in the universal gesture for "stop walking right. fucking. now." and whispered "Don't. Mooooove" out of the corner of my mouth. A snake, large but not huge was moving from underneath the walkway to the nearby brush. It stopped for a moment and regarded us before deciding that maybe geek was NOT on the menu for today. As it moved along it's merry way i resisted (barely) the urge to hiss out "Thankssss", Harry Potter style. I thought it was cool. I think it freaked Bobi out a bit, but he's a good sport. I've loved having him here, and now can't wait until June. Although I know we'll be busy then, and there won't be as much goofing off and making googly-eyes, I'm going to keep plenty of time in my calender open for just such.

Because we're making everyone sick with the PDA's, and I can't get enough.

4 Bloggers Walk Into A Bar...

Last night was our big dinner at Ashley's, we had so much fun! Although it proves if anything that I am not cut out to be near anyone under the age of 20, as I kept yelling "What the FUCK?!?" and "my big ASS" in front of her boys. The moment I was threatened with a 'time out' I shut the fuck up all together.

Tara came along too, and I just had this perfect moment where the 4 people I love most in the world were in one room, and it made me so happy and so sad at the same time. *tear* I don't know if Tara, Crystal & Ashley even realize how much I am going to miss them!

Right now my manz is snoozing while I put off getting ready for a job interview. I can't even say how much I love him being in the next room, or nearby at all. It's what makes a difficult decision easier. Yesterday we nauseated diners at the Original Pancake House with our hand holding and googly-eyes, but our waitress thought it was cute so she kept bringing us free food. Free pancakes for the win!

A few side notes about the Minnesota kid's vacay:

- Must remember sunblock. My manz is pale.
- He likes my cats!
- I have lost (just about) every game we've played. Even the one game I was sure I would beat him at. Dammit!
- Cleaning my house for 2 days was completely pointless.
- I made him try grits, he liked them!
- Apparantely 78 degrees is "hot".

We've been taking losta pictures, but since my computer is so old & slow I think we'll just wait until we get to my parent's house today to post them.

My parent's are so excited they've prepared a fireworks display in his honor.

No, I'm not kidding.

2 Peas in a Pod! EEK! Pod People!!

Oh happy day! Bobi will be here saturday! Sans Adam, which is too bad, but kind of understandable. I. Am. So. EXCITED!!!

Just a few of the PG-13 festivies planned?

Saturday: There are no PG-13 Activities Planned for this day.

Sunday: Riverfront Park/Columbia Marionette Theater! Meet Tara, Skylar,possibly Alan (he might make it to town).

A tasty meal at Ashley's house. The lovely Crystal will of course be there. I am bringing my Trivial Pursuit: Pop Culture game. I suspect hilarity will, predictably, ensue.

Monday: Meet the parents! Watch in horror as my mother shows home movie of me with my Motley Crue T-shirt and sideways ponytail. And leggings. And knee-boots. All violently green.

Tuesday: Show Bobi this thing called an "Ocean". Also, it's Myrtle Beach so have plenty of specimen of "Redneck" to display as well. Go to Brookgreen Gardens, be awed.

Wednesday: Mr. B's Goodtime Karaoke Explosion! Art Baaaah!

Thrusday is as yet unplanned. Gotta leave some room for spontanaiety in there somewhere.

Friday: Informal gathering of loved ones for affordable snacks and beverage.

Saturday: St. Pat's festival in 5 points, maybe.

Of course this is all amenable to what Bobi wants to do. There are a lot of eating experiences thrown in there too, as anyone who knows me knows I love to eat!

On the menu is Beezers (ha!), Cracker Barrel (so the boy can try some Grits!), The Original Pancake House, Tama Hibachi, The Tea Pot. Also home-cooked foodstuffs prepared by me.

There could even be cookies.

Heh. I said "Wood"

Your Element is Wood

Your power colors: green and brown Your energy: generative Your season: spring Like a tree, you are always growing and changing. And while your life is dynamic, you are firmly grounded. You have high morals and great confidence in yourself and others. You have a wide set of interests, and you make for intersting company.

What Element Are You?

Happy!!!!

Oh I just got one of the most unexpected rushes of happiness EVER! I was prepared to do my sunday-night sadness routine.

Red wine? Check.
Depressing Mix CD found in Dad's car? Check.

So I was perusing my bloglinks and thought I would check on how Sleep Goblin was doing in France. Well, don't take my word for it, read for yourself!

I am so so so happy! I love it when things go right, the way they're suppossed to.

It makes me realize that as much as I play at being cynical and jaded, I'm still a romantic at heart.

And thank goodness for that!

Louder?

How catchy is that song "Pump It" by the Black Eyed Peas? Normally I haaaaaate them. But for some reason I can't get that stupid song out of my head.

Rip-off artists! Fergie is a pants pee-er! Hrmph.

I fell asleep at 9:00 last night!!! I haven't gone to bed that early in YEARS. And I slept hard, people. When Bobi called after work I was sleep-babbling at him, still being about 45% asleep. The one thing I do remember clearly about our conversation was him saying "HUH?" Sorry, Baby!

I am soooooo excited for Sleep Goblin! Right now she's in France with DS, and I can't help but get all girly and squealy about their reunion! Mostly because a week from tommorow, I'll be having a little reunion of my own. I. Can't. Wait.

More good news! I have a sort of job interview with this guy on monday. It's for a possible work-from-home job, and the company is my Former Employer's competition. Even better, it's the company my former boss (read: fratboy dickhead from hell) worked for. Fratboy Dickhead from Hell is being sued by former company. I have no shame in the fact that I take some delight in this. And I really hope I get the job, if for no other reason than the thought of Fratboy Dickhead from Hell finding out about it. I was the only person in the office he didn't feel was important enough to sign a Non-Compete agreement. Therefore I can work for competitor without threat of lawsuit. HA! I love it when people underestimate me.

Fucker.

Welcome to Cici's!!! May I have your Stomach Contents?!?

I have offically had tomato sauce on every freaking meal this week. I can honestly say I don't want to see another slice of pizza for a long. long. loooooooong time.

Also. As if I haven't had enough problems lately. I got a nosebleed today. My first one since...oh, 9th Grade? If I had a camera I would have had someone take a picture of me with wads of bloody tissue stuffed up my nose. Just to prove that it happened. And to gross people out. Grossing people out for the win!!!!

...

Sorry, I fainted. Could you please pass me those iron supplements? Thanks!

Oh! And one interesting little thing happened today. When I walking back from the break room 2 inspectors for OSHA came in for a surprise inspection, stating there had been a complaint. The office here is pretty clean and quite safe, with exception of one place. You know what I'm talking about.

I hope it's the attic.

Four days left and it's Bye-bye Landfill!!!

My New Idolatry

You must must must check out This, courtesy of Elizabeth, my new blogging obsession.

She makes the most clear and direct reasoning about ladies and their bodies I've ever heard.

It's taken me 28 years to get comfortable with my body, and I'm still not at 100%. But when I read what she had to say, it felt like a revelation. I DO cover up, I DO often feel shameful, because my body is not what society considers ideal. Question is...why the fuck should I care? And why the fuck should YOU care?

I have several close friends who obsess over this shit, on opposite ends of the spectrum. Some are obsessed with health and fitness and staying within those parameters as much as they can. These are girls who look fantastic even by the common standard, "the champange of bodies" if you will (Thanks E!) and still they obsess over every calorie. It's exhausting.

Then I have my other friends who are more like me...more 'fluffy' as Skylar would say. They refuse to wear shorts or tank tops when it's 108 degrees outside, and god forbid a bit of the belly should show. I'm counting myself in this group, specifically when it comes to swimsuits...Why would it be perfectly acceptable for Ashley (and Ash I'm not calling you out here, just using your name for an example because of your fabulous figure)to wear a sleeveless dress, or tank top, or shorts, or swimsuit and not me? Who am I offending so badly with my belly, thighs, and less-than-toned arms?
Me? Not likely. I refuse to allow myself to feel like I've committed some wrong by wearing revealing clothes.
Men? Most definitely not, though some men do prefer smaller women, there are plenty out there who like the curves.
So who the fuck is so offended by my body?

Other women, that's who. I hate to say it. But this is really the crux of my argument. My ex-boyfriend thought it would be fun to take me swimsuit shopping last summer. By the time we got home I was bawling and spent the next 2 days in bed. I felt like I had committed some terrible crime, and was being punished by having to look at my own body encased in lycra. And aside from that...If the day had gone differently, and I had purchased a suit and worn it to the beach, how many whispers would such a display get? Not from men, who seldom care as much, but from other women? The old "what made her think she could wear that?" God knows I've been guilty of such talk plenty (read: Heather). Why do we do that? What gives us the right?
Are we really all that bitchy? We will say the most evil things about our dearest friends, all because of appearance.

So I'm resolved to get the fuck over it, and I urge you all to do the same.

I'm totally buying a swimsuit this summer.

Robot!!!!

I am fine, no cause for alarm.

The potential for disaster was there, but someone up there loves me, so no disaster.

But while sitting in the stupid muggy waiting room lookit what I made for my loooooove!




Can I just say...the boy makes me totally. retarded.

More people who think I rock!!!

Everyone go check out my dear friend Skylar's new bloginess. Kimber & Sleepy: I added you guys to her blog links, because we are trying to get a craft section of Swanky Gruel up and running. I thought she could look at your respective crafts for ideas.

Kimberlina: we are opening up our own chapter of GFSS here, except it will be called Columbia Craft Mafia. I've already confessed to not being a crafter, but I've been assured I'm in good hands. They's gonna train me up!

Sweet!

To quote Ashley "AWW SAD!"

Bobi is not feeling well!!!

It drives me nuts that he's sick and I can't do so much as hand him a Halls. Dammit.

One of my best friends took off saturday, went to Oklahoma and didn't tell me until right before she was getting ready to leave. She's moving there with her ex-fiancee (i guess now current fiancee?) who I don't really know. What I do know about him, or more specifically their relationship, bothers me. From what I reacall when they were together the first time, they were kind of into Third Parties and Subs. My reaction to which was a resounding "erm. Okaaaaay...." but that was her decision. When they broke up she started dating a really great guy, who is really and truly in love with her. Now that she's gone back to the other guy, I have to wonder if love was what she really wanted all along. She says it is, but how can you love someone who has no qualms about sharing you with other people? And if you love that person, why would you want to share yourself with anyone else? I love my friend and I miss her, but I don't think I'll ever understand her. Another reason she gave for leaving was that she wanted Financial Stability. Which to me, is the worst possible reason (next to a coke habit) to be with someone. And it only gives ammo to men who hate women. Not naming names.

On another front, please send all your prayers to Cindy, Doc & Baby Eli.

Eli was premature, and spent the first few months of his life (he is now 4 months old) in NICU. The birth was extremely difficult for Cindy and the baby, and both were very sick. A few weeks ago, Eli had a grand mal seizure and has had at least one more since then while in ICU. The worst part is that the Hospital social worker and Department of Social Services is now investigating Cindy and Doc for shaken baby syndrome, even though a Doctor, a Medical Professional has conceded that his symptoms are not consistent with SBS, but *probably* had to do with the fact that he received 3 hepatitis vaccines as a premature newborn. Not that I'm a doctor, but DUH.
Apparantely 8 out of 13 families with children in Pediatric ICU in this town are being investigated by Horry County DSS for abuse. Which seems like a kind of high number.
Cindy is having to deal with the hell that while her infant is in the hospital, having blood drained from his head, he has already been removed from her custody and she has been pretty much told to expect to be arrested today.
I can't tell you how outraged this makes me. They've spoken to someone who runs an organization about how commonly SBS is misdiagnosed. If you google it, the number would appall you. I plan to help in any way I can, but in the mean time baby Eli is very very sick, and could use everyones well-wishes.

*cry*

Some days it feels like the whole worlds gone crazy.
Love you guys.

Pictacles!!!!

While IM'ing Sleep Goblin all night, I decided to scan old photos! Sweet!

Hey Jeepers! Check this shit out! (Point if anyone can name what that line is from)



A younger, crankier me.


Check out my shoes though! My dad gave me these and I wore them for TEN YEARS! Purty!


My first ever perm! Also note Plastic heart ring purchased at book fair, no doubt!


Scary Blonde Women! That's Claire, Amy, Shelby, Beth, Trayce, Sara Kate. Or, Me and all my cousins, if you like.


Who can't stop running her mouth long enough to take a freaking picture?


Thanks for keeping me company, Sleepy! Let's start up a Purefoy movie night when I get to MN! We can do it once a month at least!!!

Let's get our numbers down...

Cue Music. Yes, I'm going there, it's friday. "A Little Respect" by Erasure.

9:31 a.m.
Minutes late to work: 21
Number of times loudly exclaimed "Pole Smoker!" in car on way to work: 8
Cups of Thick & Muddy: 2.5
Copies Made: 120
Times sneaked off to bathroom to check out ass in new jeans: 12
Daydreams about Bobi: 9,723.5
Times "Once More, With Feeling" played in head: 2
Male co-workers who have checked out rack: 3
Times the sound of Terry's voice has made me want to stab my neck: 23

11:58 a.m.
Times almost gagged from smell outside: 4
Number of screen toggles: 64
Papercuts: 5
Copies Made: 378
Times sneaked off to bathroom to check out ass in new jeans: 22
Daydreams about Bobi: 17,431
Times thought about finally purchasing 'The Fifth Element' on DVD: 3
Terry Evasions: 9
Times Phyllis' wet cough has made me think about Kimberlina: 3
Crying Fits: 2

3:38 p.m.
Number of times I've been blessed out since lunch: 2
Number of screen toggles: 80
Papercuts: 12
Copies Made: 392
Times sneaked off to bathroom to check out ass in new jeans: 22 (0 since lunchtime)
Daydreams about Bobi: 17,490
Times thought about finally purchasing 'The Fifth Element' on DVD: 5
Terry Evasions: 17
Times Phyllis' wet cough has made me think about Kimberlina: 0 Phyllis went home to 'tend her horses'.
Crying Fits: 3

***

I can't leave for another 12 min. ARGH!!!

To pass 10 of those 12, here is a list of stuff I Don't do:

Craft - I paint, refinish, and do art stuff. But I can't make anything useful, functional, or even remotely aesthetic.

Jigsaw Puzzles - Fuck THAT headache.

Pay attention to the time - Always too early or too late.

Handle Criticism Well - At least I can admit it!

Fisting - enough said.

Sleep - O Sleep, my long lost love. Come back to me!

Wear Blue - I don't think I have a single blue shirt. Couldn't tell you why.

Spell - whutz a speilchezch?


Happy Fucking Friday!!!

Only you can prevent Florist Friars.

Today I must stop putting off going to the gym. Especially after yesterday.

I wore this dress...


That's me on the far left in the black & white.

Keep in mind this photo was taken in August. The dress fit then. So I wore it yesterday because a)I'm too lazy to unpack and b)They can't make me do anything too 'physical' (lifting, carrying, etc) if I'm all dressed up. So I put the dress on to discover it was now like 2 sizes too big. Had I lost THAT much weight? So I was pretty happy about that. Happy enough to eat 1 cheesestick, 1 slice Hawiian pizza, a TON of candy and ice cream cake at Penelope's birthday party.
I guess I'm trying to fill the dress back out. Hence today = gym.

Also, everyone needs to take note of my new link for Bad Movies.Org, which is good for hours of entertainment when you should be working.

Have I mentioned how badly I miss Brian? I thought by now it might go without saying.
So I said it anyaway.

Hey! remember Garbage Pail Kids?

Feeling Somewhat Better...

Yesterday was rough.
Today was not fun, but it has been a little bit better, knowing it puts me another day closer to Bobi's upcoming visit to SC. Welcome to the south, darlin!

I am so excited! I've got him reading The Dark Tower! My mostest favorite series of books in the WORLD! I love having discussions (especially the in-person variety) on the story, the philosophy behind it. I can't wait for heated debate with my love on parallel realities followed by groping sessions. Score!

That's it. I must reread books 2-7 now.

::grope::




"Yet suppose further. Suppose that all worlds, all universes, met at a single nexus, a single pylon, a Tower. And within it, a stairway, perhaps rising to the Godhead itself. Would you dare climb to the top, gunslinger? Could it be that somewhere above all of endless reality, there exists a room?...

"You dare not."

In Re: /Cry

You're welcome, x5.

These were the best 4 days of my life. After you walked away this morning, I stood in security line, crying the whole time. My eyes wouldn't stop seeing you, my ears wouldn't stop hearing you, my mouth wouldn't stop tasting you. I've never felt such a wrenching apart as I did today, like a part of me was suddenly missing. A phantom pain from something no longer there.
But even through this incredible sadness and heartache, I was (am) grateful. I love you. You love me. We wouldn't feel this sad at being apart if we didn't know we couldn't live without each other. I never thought I would find anything so right, so real, so true.

As for crying, I'm doing my share right now. I came home to realize it isn't anymore. It's empty. Home just isn't without you, cooking me spagetti while singing songs from Grease, giving me galloping piggyback rides or just looking over and smiling at me. I need to gross you out with my love of rare steak. I need to try that 'Wonderboy' duet again. I need to open my eyes in the morning and see you beside me. I need to wake you up with my laughing over the silliest dream. I need to let you beat me at M:TG some more. So don't cry, love. Know that I feel the same, that I miss you more than anything, and I love you more than everything.

And thank you so much for this, Crystal.

Steaks, Shopping, and Frozen Nose Hairs.

It took FORFUCKINGEVER for my flight to get in from Chicago. Those airlines, so unorganized!

Finally I arrived to 18-degree weather, SNOW(!), and this adorable redheaded guy who wisked me away in his big purple van!

After a few games of magic (Bee:1 Bobi: 2) we decided to visit this place called "outside". HOLY SHIT. It was 4 degrees outside! Do you know what happens to your nose hair at 4 degrees?!? It's the most interesting sensation. And not *entirely* unpleasant, just kinda funny.

To all my girlfriends...prepare for envy. We went to the Mall of America friday. There's a Sephora Store there!!! Sephora! I dropped a small hunk of cash in there before schooling Bobi on Sushi. Surprise! He liked it!

But ya'll don't care about all that do ya? You want pictures don't you? Yeah you do. Big Babies. Fine, here you go...


OH GLORY!!! OH JOY!!! You are all so ENVIOUS!!!

That's right, we spent hours wandering around Ikea, trying to choose our favorite diarama! One strange thing of note: I think I only saw 1 bathtub in the whole store.


We liked this mirror so much we had to take a picture of it. Bobi Helped.


Here is a custodian from Mall of America. What's that on his head? It's a big, soft crown hat. I have an idea as to why he was wearing it around. I think it's punishment for being late too many days in a row. I imagined a very Bob Kelso-like boss saying "Late Again Ted?!? You know what this means!" "Not the Crown!". Hee.


Seriously. You just hate me cause you aint me.

More to come. For now I'm going to school Bobi on the wonders of an IHOP breakfast.
Ta.

Travelin' (wo)Man.

Tonight I had some salmon that was absolutely perfect, thanks to my aunt Michelle. I played The Game of Life(!) for the first time ever, and I totally kicked ass! How is it I'm better at that stupid board game than I am at the real thing? (Like I could ever cure the common cold!)

I ended up retiring with 16.5 million dollars, with Twins, and a grandparent to boot.

Keep the kids/grandkids, hand over the loot!

It amazes me how much my 2 'little' cousins have grown. One is twelve, the other ten. I remember when they were just angry pink babies! And now they get crushes on boys and wear flavored lip gloss! How time flies when you're...to self-absorbed to notice anyone but yourself, I guess.

But enough of all that shit! Tommorow, ladies and gentlemen.

Tommorow is the day.

I'm so happy!

Zounds.

Oh HEART!

Lookit at what I stole off of Adam's Myspace comments! My manz! Up close and personal!

You'll have to ask him about the eyebrows yourself, I don't feel like getting into it.

Oh HEART!!!!

Fucking DUANE!!!!

When I was sixteen, I got my first job as a waitress at Pizza Hut. That was back when Pizza Hut actually had wait staff, and you could sit down and actually have beer there!

I worked there off and on for about 3 years. After I had been there about a year, we got a new server. Duane. Fucking Duane.

Duane was best friends with Robbie, who I thought could stop time, move mountains, and turn water into wine. Robbie was the shit. I also believe he started me on the path of preferring men with red hair, isn't that lucky for me now?

Unfortunately, Robbie wouldn't give me the time of day. We were friends, and no matter how many anvils I dropped on his head, he just wasn't going for this. I couldn't figure it out! I was in my prime! Young, Nubile, Fit, a child with an unclouded brow of wonder. What the fuck was his problem?!? Duane was his problem. Fucking Duane!

Like I said, Duane was a cool guy. I liked him a lot. I even gave him a Bruce Lee poster for his birthday, and one of those Weasel Ball toys. I just didn't have those kind of feelings for him. And I TOLD him this, time and time again. Every time he asked me out. "Thank you Duane, but I just don't feel that way about you."

Isn't that the most direct, honest, and therefore best way to tell someone you aren't interested?

Now, through the stalkerly glory of Myspace, Duane has found me again. Oh, joy. We emailed each other a little bit back and forth, mostly me gushing over Bobi, until he said something to the effect of "I was so head over heels for you". Actually he said "head over heals". Gah. To which I replied:

Yeah I remember that. Because I had such a crush on Robbie, and he wouldn't really give me the time of day. Our silly pizza hut love triangle. Oh well, we were so young!

And got THIS in response...

lol yeah you hit the nail on the head there i allways felt that you wanted me a little bit but just not enough to take the plunge but thats good i needed to go through all my bullshit with adriane to really mature and that took quite some time if we had worked together now you wouldnt be able to resist me i know im not the best looking guy but i have learned to work with what i got i still dont think ur a bitch i want to say thank you for allways treating me well a lot of people in bville were so two faced and i usually didnt find out till it was too late but not you a few years after i left thew hut i ran into the other beth her last name escapes me at this time i was at murphys in flo town fukked up out my mine and skied up on powder and i was like making rather lewd but sweet comments to her im glad her hubby wasnt around lol oh god that shit was funny i can be such a pimp when im drunk

What the fuck? So I said...


Erm. What?

I liked you as a person, as a friend. I knew you had a crush on me, but no...I never actually wanted to "go there". Nothing against you, and it's not because of looks. Like I said, I had a thing for Robbie. BIG TIME. As far as treating you well goes...well, I try to always treat people respectfully until they piss me the fuck off.

Furthermore...

'Fukked' is not a word. If you are going to say something, say it right. And, 'skied up on powder'? Trust me, if you ever thought I couldn't resist you, there's the one thing you could say to ensure that I can resist you. For all time. First of all, I have a boyfriend. A great one. Secondly, I hate that shit. I don't touch it, I don't go near it, and I don't go around people who use it. I know you were a cool person once. So please, to keep yourself from losing any further cool points, don't do that shit! And if you are going to do it, don't talk to me about it. Seriously.

There is no such thing as 'lewd but sweet'. It's one or the other, so it was probably lewd. And if you had come up to ME drunk and 'skied up' and making lewd comments, I would have resolutely and unceremoniously punched you in the face, don't need a husband to do it for me. Don't you have a girlfriend?

You know that people use a period to complete a sentance, Duane. Try it, it's neat. Just because it's the internet doesn't mean it's a bad grammar free-for-all, okay?

Have fun at the show tommorow night, and stay away from the blow.


Was that too much?

[EDIT]
My friend Skin just sent me this postcard from HBO.com, from one of the greatest shows EVER, Carnivale...