Saturday, February 25, 2006

Pictacles!!!!

While IM'ing Sleep Goblin all night, I decided to scan old photos! Sweet!

Hey Jeepers! Check this shit out! (Point if anyone can name what that line is from)


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A younger, crankier me.

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Check out my shoes though! My dad gave me these and I wore them for TEN YEARS! Purty!

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My first ever perm! Also note Plastic heart ring purchased at book fair, no doubt!

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Scary Blonde Women! That's Claire, Amy, Shelby, Beth, Trayce, Sara Kate. Or, Me and all my cousins, if you like.

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Who can't stop running her mouth long enough to take a freaking picture?


Thanks for keeping me company, Sleepy! Let's start up a Purefoy movie night when I get to MN! We can do it once a month at least!!!

Friday, February 24, 2006

Let's get our numbers down...

Cue Music. Yes, I'm going there, it's friday. "A Little Respect" by Erasure.

9:31 a.m.
Minutes late to work: 21
Number of times loudly exclaimed "Pole Smoker!" in car on way to work: 8
Cups of Thick & Muddy: 2.5
Copies Made: 120
Times sneaked off to bathroom to check out ass in new jeans: 12
Daydreams about Bobi: 9,723.5
Times "Once More, With Feeling" played in head: 2
Male co-workers who have checked out rack: 3
Times the sound of Terry's voice has made me want to stab my neck: 23

11:58 a.m.
Times almost gagged from smell outside: 4
Number of screen toggles: 64
Papercuts: 5
Copies Made: 378
Times sneaked off to bathroom to check out ass in new jeans: 22
Daydreams about Bobi: 17,431
Times thought about finally purchasing 'The Fifth Element' on DVD: 3
Terry Evasions: 9
Times Phyllis' wet cough has made me think about Kimberlina: 3
Crying Fits: 2

3:38 p.m.
Number of times I've been blessed out since lunch: 2
Number of screen toggles: 80
Papercuts: 12
Copies Made: 392
Times sneaked off to bathroom to check out ass in new jeans: 22 (0 since lunchtime)
Daydreams about Bobi: 17,490
Times thought about finally purchasing 'The Fifth Element' on DVD: 5
Terry Evasions: 17
Times Phyllis' wet cough has made me think about Kimberlina: 0 Phyllis went home to 'tend her horses'.
Crying Fits: 3

***

I can't leave for another 12 min. ARGH!!!

To pass 10 of those 12, here is a list of stuff I Don't do:

Craft - I paint, refinish, and do art stuff. But I can't make anything useful, functional, or even remotely aesthetic.

Jigsaw Puzzles - Fuck THAT headache.

Pay attention to the time - Always too early or too late.

Handle Criticism Well - At least I can admit it!

Fisting - enough said.

Sleep - O Sleep, my long lost love. Come back to me!

Wear Blue - I don't think I have a single blue shirt. Couldn't tell you why.

Spell - whutz a speilchezch?


Happy Fucking Friday!!!

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Thursday, February 23, 2006

Only you can prevent Florist Friars.

Today I must stop putting off going to the gym. Especially after yesterday.

I wore this dress...

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That's me on the far left in the black & white.

Keep in mind this photo was taken in August. The dress fit then. So I wore it yesterday because a)I'm too lazy to unpack and b)They can't make me do anything too 'physical' (lifting, carrying, etc) if I'm all dressed up. So I put the dress on to discover it was now like 2 sizes too big. Had I lost THAT much weight? So I was pretty happy about that. Happy enough to eat 1 cheesestick, 1 slice Hawiian pizza, a TON of candy and ice cream cake at Penelope's birthday party.
I guess I'm trying to fill the dress back out. Hence today = gym.

Also, everyone needs to take note of my new link for Bad Movies.Org, which is good for hours of entertainment when you should be working.

Have I mentioned how badly I miss Brian? I thought by now it might go without saying.
So I said it anyaway.

Hey! remember Garbage Pail Kids?

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Tuesday, February 21, 2006

Feeling Somewhat Better...

Yesterday was rough.
Today was not fun, but it has been a little bit better, knowing it puts me another day closer to Bobi's upcoming visit to SC. Welcome to the south, darlin!

I am so excited! I've got him reading The Dark Tower! My mostest favorite series of books in the WORLD! I love having discussions (especially the in-person variety) on the story, the philosophy behind it. I can't wait for heated debate with my love on parallel realities followed by groping sessions. Score!

That's it. I must reread books 2-7 now.

::grope::


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"Yet suppose further. Suppose that all worlds, all universes, met at a single nexus, a single pylon, a Tower. And within it, a stairway, perhaps rising to the Godhead itself. Would you dare climb to the top, gunslinger? Could it be that somewhere above all of endless reality, there exists a room?...

"You dare not."

Monday, February 20, 2006

In Re: /Cry

You're welcome, x5.

These were the best 4 days of my life. After you walked away this morning, I stood in security line, crying the whole time. My eyes wouldn't stop seeing you, my ears wouldn't stop hearing you, my mouth wouldn't stop tasting you. I've never felt such a wrenching apart as I did today, like a part of me was suddenly missing. A phantom pain from something no longer there.
But even through this incredible sadness and heartache, I was (am) grateful. I love you. You love me. We wouldn't feel this sad at being apart if we didn't know we couldn't live without each other. I never thought I would find anything so right, so real, so true.

As for crying, I'm doing my share right now. I came home to realize it isn't anymore. It's empty. Home just isn't without you, cooking me spagetti while singing songs from Grease, giving me galloping piggyback rides or just looking over and smiling at me. I need to gross you out with my love of rare steak. I need to try that 'Wonderboy' duet again. I need to open my eyes in the morning and see you beside me. I need to wake you up with my laughing over the silliest dream. I need to let you beat me at M:TG some more. So don't cry, love. Know that I feel the same, that I miss you more than anything, and I love you more than everything.

And thank you so much for this, Crystal.

Sunday, February 19, 2006

Steaks, Shopping, and Frozen Nose Hairs.

It took FORFUCKINGEVER for my flight to get in from Chicago. Those airlines, so unorganized!

Finally I arrived to 18-degree weather, SNOW(!), and this adorable redheaded guy who wisked me away in his big purple van!

After a few games of magic (Bee:1 Bobi: 2) we decided to visit this place called "outside". HOLY SHIT. It was 4 degrees outside! Do you know what happens to your nose hair at 4 degrees?!? It's the most interesting sensation. And not *entirely* unpleasant, just kinda funny.

To all my girlfriends...prepare for envy. We went to the Mall of America friday. There's a Sephora Store there!!! Sephora! I dropped a small hunk of cash in there before schooling Bobi on Sushi. Surprise! He liked it!

But ya'll don't care about all that do ya? You want pictures don't you? Yeah you do. Big Babies. Fine, here you go...


OH GLORY!!! OH JOY!!! You are all so ENVIOUS!!!

That's right, we spent hours wandering around Ikea, trying to choose our favorite diarama! One strange thing of note: I think I only saw 1 bathtub in the whole store.


We liked this mirror so much we had to take a picture of it. Bobi Helped.


Here is a custodian from Mall of America. What's that on his head? It's a big, soft crown hat. I have an idea as to why he was wearing it around. I think it's punishment for being late too many days in a row. I imagined a very Bob Kelso-like boss saying "Late Again Ted?!? You know what this means!" "Not the Crown!". Hee.


Seriously. You just hate me cause you aint me.

More to come. For now I'm going to school Bobi on the wonders of an IHOP breakfast.
Ta.

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

Travelin' (wo)Man.

Tonight I had some salmon that was absolutely perfect, thanks to my aunt Michelle. I played The Game of Life(!) for the first time ever, and I totally kicked ass! How is it I'm better at that stupid board game than I am at the real thing? (Like I could ever cure the common cold!)

I ended up retiring with 16.5 million dollars, with Twins, and a grandparent to boot.

Keep the kids/grandkids, hand over the loot!

It amazes me how much my 2 'little' cousins have grown. One is twelve, the other ten. I remember when they were just angry pink babies! And now they get crushes on boys and wear flavored lip gloss! How time flies when you're...to self-absorbed to notice anyone but yourself, I guess.

But enough of all that shit! Tommorow, ladies and gentlemen.

Tommorow is the day.

I'm so happy!

Zounds.

Monday, February 13, 2006

Oh HEART!

Lookit at what I stole off of Adam's Myspace comments! My manz! Up close and personal!

You'll have to ask him about the eyebrows yourself, I don't feel like getting into it.

Oh HEART!!!!


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Saturday, February 11, 2006

Fucking DUANE!!!!

When I was sixteen, I got my first job as a waitress at Pizza Hut. That was back when Pizza Hut actually had wait staff, and you could sit down and actually have beer there!

I worked there off and on for about 3 years. After I had been there about a year, we got a new server. Duane. Fucking Duane.

Duane was best friends with Robbie, who I thought could stop time, move mountains, and turn water into wine. Robbie was the shit. I also believe he started me on the path of preferring men with red hair, isn't that lucky for me now?

Unfortunately, Robbie wouldn't give me the time of day. We were friends, and no matter how many anvils I dropped on his head, he just wasn't going for this. I couldn't figure it out! I was in my prime! Young, Nubile, Fit, a child with an unclouded brow of wonder. What the fuck was his problem?!? Duane was his problem. Fucking Duane!

Like I said, Duane was a cool guy. I liked him a lot. I even gave him a Bruce Lee poster for his birthday, and one of those Weasel Ball toys. I just didn't have those kind of feelings for him. And I TOLD him this, time and time again. Every time he asked me out. "Thank you Duane, but I just don't feel that way about you."

Isn't that the most direct, honest, and therefore best way to tell someone you aren't interested?

Now, through the stalkerly glory of Myspace, Duane has found me again. Oh, joy. We emailed each other a little bit back and forth, mostly me gushing over Bobi, until he said something to the effect of "I was so head over heels for you". Actually he said "head over heals". Gah. To which I replied:

Yeah I remember that. Because I had such a crush on Robbie, and he wouldn't really give me the time of day. Our silly pizza hut love triangle. Oh well, we were so young!

And got THIS in response...

lol yeah you hit the nail on the head there i allways felt that you wanted me a little bit but just not enough to take the plunge but thats good i needed to go through all my bullshit with adriane to really mature and that took quite some time if we had worked together now you wouldnt be able to resist me i know im not the best looking guy but i have learned to work with what i got i still dont think ur a bitch i want to say thank you for allways treating me well a lot of people in bville were so two faced and i usually didnt find out till it was too late but not you a few years after i left thew hut i ran into the other beth her last name escapes me at this time i was at murphys in flo town fukked up out my mine and skied up on powder and i was like making rather lewd but sweet comments to her im glad her hubby wasnt around lol oh god that shit was funny i can be such a pimp when im drunk

What the fuck? So I said...


Erm. What?

I liked you as a person, as a friend. I knew you had a crush on me, but no...I never actually wanted to "go there". Nothing against you, and it's not because of looks. Like I said, I had a thing for Robbie. BIG TIME. As far as treating you well goes...well, I try to always treat people respectfully until they piss me the fuck off.

Furthermore...

'Fukked' is not a word. If you are going to say something, say it right. And, 'skied up on powder'? Trust me, if you ever thought I couldn't resist you, there's the one thing you could say to ensure that I can resist you. For all time. First of all, I have a boyfriend. A great one. Secondly, I hate that shit. I don't touch it, I don't go near it, and I don't go around people who use it. I know you were a cool person once. So please, to keep yourself from losing any further cool points, don't do that shit! And if you are going to do it, don't talk to me about it. Seriously.

There is no such thing as 'lewd but sweet'. It's one or the other, so it was probably lewd. And if you had come up to ME drunk and 'skied up' and making lewd comments, I would have resolutely and unceremoniously punched you in the face, don't need a husband to do it for me. Don't you have a girlfriend?

You know that people use a period to complete a sentance, Duane. Try it, it's neat. Just because it's the internet doesn't mean it's a bad grammar free-for-all, okay?

Have fun at the show tommorow night, and stay away from the blow.


Was that too much?

[EDIT]
My friend Skin just sent me this postcard from HBO.com, from one of the greatest shows EVER, Carnivale...

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Friday, February 10, 2006

Wild Turkey was made for Days like Today.

Oh. My. GOD!

Terry has the most annoying voice of any woman on the Planet! This is why I don't like to post from work.

I almost forgot about my big collaboration with Tara this weekend! We're going to be artsy chicks and do a ginormous collage. We've never done a collaborative piece before so I'm terribly excited. Saturday morning we'll scavenge for materials, and get some thrift shopping in while we're at it. Anything to keep my mind off of how slowly the next 6 days are going to pass. I promise to update with pictures of the worlds oddest collage, as well as my rockin' new hair!

A few notes on my effing job:

Would anyone like to know what a 'Dewatered Bio-Solid' is?
I'm betting not!
How about 'WWT Sludge'? Or simply, 'Residual'?

If I counted how many times per day I almost barf...

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Seriously, Could I be any cuter?


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Thursday, February 09, 2006

I'd get some work done if I could stop crackin' this whip!

[EDIT]I re-thought this whole entry and decided "lame!"

I've decided it's grouchy night.

So there.

Wednesday, February 08, 2006

Happy Anniversary, Blogger!

Blogger has offically had the joy of my posting for a year now!

I am so. amazingly. mind-numbingly. bored.

Terry is making me reconcile old A/R stuff. Kill me now!

Damn that Terry!

Today can't be all bad...new 'Lost' tonight. Looks like Sun might get kidnapped by the others. I hope not, Sun rocks!

Back to my Excel spreadsheet.
Bastards.

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

Ice Cube would agree! It was a good day!

Today started off in typical mundane fashion. With work.

Then, glory of glories! My tax returns arrived at last! Now I don't have to sweat having travel money for my trip next week. (omg! next week! tingles!)

I did use a portion of the money for productive stuff. Like, I joined that gym down the street from my office. It's a 24-7 place so I can now put my insomnia to good use! It's 6 a.m.! That's no time for saddlebags!

I also took my best girl Crystal to Heros and Dragons, Columbia's biggest comic book store, where she drooled over the Angel comic book and I bought magic cards. We made a stop by Manifest discs and tapes, where I got a *sweet* Superman mini lunch pail (perfect size to hold my magic decks) and the new Cat Power cd (On Sale!)

Of course to celebrate joining a gym, what's better than pigging out on chinese food? Nothing! After weeks of eating hardly anything, it was downright euphoric to bury my face in a plate of chow mein. Take THAT, saddlebags!

Oh and in case anyone was wondering, I love Bobi! He's the most awesome, adorable, loveable guy in the whole wide world, and he makes me happier than Christmas!

Even this Christmas!

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Monday, February 06, 2006

Maybe next time I'll just say I prefer European Football.

I think I've done my last superbowl party.

I think I missed out on that young adult rite of passage, the keg party. If I had gone to more of them, I would have been more prepared for the general douchebaggery abounding.

Tell me...why do people want to freeze their asses off standing outside to try to fill their glasses with flat, disgusting beer? And please tell me that there is someone else out there in my age range who has never heard of a keg stand. Thank every god that ever was that I did not get roped into that shit. My friend did, but it's probably because she's cuter and less-standoffish.

I did manage to look nice last night. Sparkly black tank top, white fuzzy cardigan over, Jeans, boots. I even fixed my hair.
None of this did any good. Becuase that was just the WRONG audience for low-cut tank tops. I had 3 separate attempts for a feelski. I got annoyed and buttoned my sweater all the way up.

For a little while, I felt like my old self again. Not in a good way. Let's just say...'The Bitch Was Back'.

My friend was outside playing around with the guy who was hosting the party. When his roommate decided "Let's play football! For real!" and tackled her. She's recovering from a broken foot, for one. So I knew that was going to hurt. It felt like slow-motion as I saw his knee collide with her nose. Mac (my gracious host) and I rushed over and got her up. Mac took her to the bathroom to make sure the Walking Bottle of Jagermeister hadn't broken her nose. I stood outside and tried not to punch him in his stupid, drunk, retarded frat boy face.

"THAT. Was fucking RUDE."
"Wha? I do something?"

I wanted to turn green I got so angry. I wanted to bitch-slap him for every time my ex-boyfriend had broken into my house, or every time he fell asleep sitting straight up with the fucking stove on. Why can't everyone be a fun drunk like me? I giggle, I laugh, I spill things and occasionally flash people, though wether by accident or on purpose I'm not sure. Reports vary.

Needless to say I was never so happy to be home in my LIFE.

I hope Mac doesn't read this. And if he does...

Mac, dear. You put on what I'm sure what quite a good party. Just not for me. I've always been sort of an antisocial, when "social" involves beer and rambunctious boys. The food was quite tasty though! I did enjoy that queso dip you made! And the music selection was perfect! You know I could never get sick of Nelly!

That being said...

Sunday, February 05, 2006

Oi!

"Oi!" is the sound my kidneys made yesterday morning as they kickboxed each other while I tried casually walking around the Flea market with Ashley.

I only made one flea market purchase, a book about art from 1890-1980. Lots of my most recent obsession, Paul Klee.

Yesterday morning was dreary, overcast and gray. By the time I woke up from my post-shopping nap, the day was brilliant and gorgeous. Too bad I felt too crappy to venture outside. Today, however is a different story. It is once again a beautiful day, and I'm getting ready to visit my parents, where hopefully my dad and I will get into some woodworking.

It's too nice to spend hunched over my computer.

Friday, February 03, 2006

Drunkedy Drunk Drunk! Kinda.

New friends rock, old friends rock like quartz.

I miss Bobi! And damn if that isn't difficult to spell after about 6 mimosas.

Dammit. Typing. Hard.

More than anything, I miss cigarettes.

*sigh*

[EDIT] This morning I was awakened by my liver slapping me. HARD.

Thursday, February 02, 2006

Where is that drum I need to bang all day?

I refuse to start getting ready for work until I've finished my cup of thick and muddy, aka coffee. *sluuuuuuurp*

I told Tara last night that we both need to get out of the house a little more. Not that we live together, but we might as well. We are the two gossipy old ladies who live on every street. There was a conversation involving a dog a few nights ago:

Tara: Did you hear a dog barking across the street today?
Me: This morning? I heard it. I peeked through the blinds and saw one sitting on the porch of the green house.
Tara: Was it tied up?
Me: I don't think so...you know I'd call animal control if someone left a dog tied up outside in the rain! I'd call them in a heartbeat!
Tara: So would I!
Me: ::pause:: You realize that we're the nosy old women on this street don't you?
Tara: And we call the cops on people all the time?
Me: Yeah, well, that's more of a necessity at times.
Tara: Speaking of, who are all those kids at Paulette's house all the time???
Me: I was going to ask YOU.

And this goes on all night. It gradually dissolves into talking about people we know, people we work with, and somehow it all comes back to talking about Matthew Fox, and weather or not he's a 'tender lover'. She seems to think he is, I favor that he's a freak between the sheets, so we'll just have to agree to disagree. But I love the little idiosyncrasies between friends. How you interact with each other has a rhythm. And it's different for all of them isn't it? I know when I call Ashley (or when she calls me) we have our little ritual of her calling me a nerd for a few minutes before we start our conversation. And I love that! I wouldn't want to change that ever! Or how when Crystal and I go pig out on Mexican food we take the first few minutes to talk about how unenthusiastic the waiters are. And why is that? And If I should happen to have the rare, joyful occasion of hanging with both Crystal and Ashley at the same time...It ususally starts with me making inappropriate comments in front of Ash's kids and then clapping my hand over my mouth before I can say "Oh SHIT, Ashley, I'm sorry!"

And then everyone laughs. It's a good time.

So tell your friends you love them! They were there for you when you were awkward, lonely, sad, too drunk to see, or going through your bi phase before you went all-out gay.

I would be nowhere without mine, so thanks guys! I love you!

P.S. Do you realize that in two weeks I'll be freezing my ass off in MN? Do you? I can't wait! Squee!

::blows kisses towards Bobi's general direction::

You know I had to throw that shit in there. How could I not?

Monday, January 30, 2006

Oh JOY!!!

I got presents!!! Yes, Presents!!!

How lame is it I have no camera, ergo no way to post pictures of my delightful surprises! So I'll just tell ya...

Season 1 of Battlestar! Oh HEART!
'Knife of Dreams' by Robert Jordan! Yippie!
Chinese Movies!

There were a few other items in todays Bobisurprise, but being modest I'm not tellin ya. Plus, I like having a few things to myself.

I played hooky today, and it was GREAT. First I goofed of online for a while, then made my way down to DEC to take the loverly Crystal out for Enchiladas! Then after that wonderful, relaxing, way-past-an-hour lunch hour, I made my way down to the county tax office to pay my vehicle taxes. I've been putting this off since August, for two reasons, mainly. A - Laziness B- Brokeness C - Had money, but wanted to buy Stuff instead. I got a letter in the mail saying that the Richland County Sherrif's Office had noticed my mucho expired tags and that I had to turn in a paid reciept by January 31 or GO TO JAIL. Which makes me wonder sometimes if Driving is really at all worth it. Don't we have a bus here? But that's probably once again my laziness talking.

So, help me out....Reading or TV?

Sunday, January 29, 2006

I say - Adorable!!!

Some late-night supercute questions from My Lovah. I guess we're trying to see if we can attain the "Most Adorably Geeky Couple" award. It's Bee and Bobi for the Gold!


1. When Jane sets out from Cleveland aboard the 456 express, and Jim sets out from Topeka on the 189 non-express (trains), how long does it take them to order lunch?


I wasn't looking, I fell in a martini.


2. What is your favorite six-letter word?


Wanker

3. How much do you love red-headed geeks named BOBI?

More than Axl loves Slash, More than Eddie Murphy loves Transvestites, More than Peanut Butter loves Jelly. More than, oh...anything?


4. The zebra looks at you anxiously. Do you:
a. Give it a cookie
b. Offer it psychiatric advice
c. Tell it about the lion behind it
or d. Invite it to your New Years Eve bash, even though it's almost February.


I'm gonna go with A for the Cookie. It's always a good time, and it's always fun to watch a zebra munch on cookies. Silly Zebra!

5. How many times per day do you blink. Be precise.


About Three.

I love you too!

Saturday, January 28, 2006

Boo! No more pictures!

I've been in one of those moods today where it's everything I can do not to rush down to my local Sally's Beauty Supply and purchase a box of purple manic panic. I wish I had photos from my first adventures in purple hair, It was completely adorable! I had these cat-eye sunglasses that were the exact same shade! You can get away with that kind of look when you work at a vegetarian diner and coffeeshop. Not so much when you're stuck in a 9 to 5.

What's so funny is that when I did work at those type of jobs, I never realized how lucky I was to have that kind of freedom. All I could think about was how much I wanted a 'real job'. Now I don't make much more money than I did then, and have none of the perks (like free scrambled tofu for breakfast and getting to listen to Jim Neighbors CDs all day).

Of course you have to put up with whiny assholes who claim that you always skimp on the tahini dressing. Bastards.

I was never a good waitress.


On a completely unrelated note...I got my own mushy letter and an eTicket confirmation for my upcoming trip to MN! And no, Crystal, to answer your question, I'm not nervous. I am fully prepared to be so excited and happy that I make a total ass of myself for my manz. Sweet!

I want to have my own little Meme. What does that mean anyway? Sometimes I can be so stupid to be so smart.

I am tagging EVERYONE on this. Because really, mine does have the most interesting cross-section of possible answers. So Steal it, Bitches!

Here goes.

1. When you made your sex video with Paris Hilton, was the dog present?

2. Would you rather have a piece of Mr. T's Bling or one of Flava Flav's clocks? Keep in mind they are of equal street value.

3. When was the moment you realized you were in love with Fox Mulder?

4. You're faced with a choice: Riverdance or Gretchen Wilson. What to do?

5. You're stopped in traffic. There is a guy and a girl having a not-terribly heated argument in the car next to yours. What are they fighting about?

6. Elton John has already stabbed Rod Stewart and George Michael in the back. Is the Queen next?

7. Re-cast The Breakfast Club with current Film stars that don't make you barf.

8. It's Like This and Like That and Like This....discuss.

9. Who blinded you with Science?

10. Paul Reubens. Yes or No?

****
Yep. I'm a-crazy.

Thursday, January 26, 2006

I've been tagged! Taggity Tag Tagged!

Thanks to Kimberlina, who somehow knew I wanted to post but had nothing to say!

4 jobs i've had:

* office manager
* coffee slinger
* temp (read: doormat)
* international superstar

4 places i've lived:

* columbia, sc
* raleigh, nc
* chattanooga, tn
* orangeburg, sc (not too proud of that one. not to proud at all)

4 movies i could watch over and over:

* cold mountain
* garden state
* amelie
* the frighteners

4 tv shows i watch (currently on air)

* lost
* scrubs
* deadwood
* rrrrrrome!

4 places i've been on vacation:

* maggie valley, nc
* cozumel, mexico
* chicago, il
* cape san blas, fl

4 websites i visit daily:

* gmail.com
* bust.com
* televisionwithoutpity.com
* blogger

4 of my favorite foods:

* sushi
* quesadillas
* any and all italian food
* the chick-fil-a breakfast burrito. nums.

4 places i'd rather be right now:

* burnsville, mn (shout-out!)
* cashiers, ga
* NYC
* asheville, nc

4 bloggers i am tagging:

* crystalpistol (have you already done this one?)
* wonderwoman (via Divas?)
* michaela
* rowan




That wasn't so bad, now was it?

Wednesday, January 25, 2006

So rarely as it happens.

Where music is concerned, I seldom get bouts of nostaliga and long for the music of my past. I've heard the music of my past, and I know for a fact that most of it sucks. (Except, of course, U2) I'd always rather find something new to wear out and then discard like an old sock. "What did I do with that Air cd? Do I really care?"

For some reason this morning, while blearily filling my teeny mp3 player with music I came across a song I haven't listened to in AGES.

Smashing Pumpkins - The Boy

What a great song this is! And maybe it's because it's James Iha singing instead of Billy Corgan, but that slammed me right back to 1998, when to me, you couldn't get any better than the Smashing Freaking Pumpkins. I'll be the first to admit that Billy Corgan really can't sing. He made it work on Gish & Siamese Dream, but I remember wincing through most of Pisces Iscariot. However! I believed then (and always will) that he IS one of the Greatest songwriters of all time. That's why he started going all weird, thinking he was David Gilmore. He started trying to look like Uncle Fester on purpose. I'm convinced he's somehow related to Michael Stipe, the only other musician I can say whose Ego could rival Corgan's. And maybe that's why I love them both (or did), because they're both extra extra crazy.

So without any furter adieu...

My Sugguested Smashing Pumpkins Playlist. You're welcome.

Cherub Rock (You ALWAYS start a S.P. Mix with this song)
The Boy
33
Transformer
Perfect
Siva
Eye
Mayonaise
Whir
Crush
Zero
The Last Song
Frail and Bedazzled
Adore
Geek U.S.A.
To Sheila
Cherry
The Aeroplane Flies High
Blank Page (always end on this song.)

You can't listen to 'Mayonaise' (I KNOW, stupid name for a song, Ego, remember?) or or 'Cherub Rock' without being soundly impressed with Corgan's songwriting skills. He's always kind of Wistful and Daydreamy, just like me.

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

Dustie McPhee will have her Revenge.

This morning I'm sitting in my chair very straight-backed, like my chorus teacher always taught me to sit. No slouching here! And not because I'm trying to improve my posture a little late in life...but because my back is in agony, and any sort of relaxing on my part will cause much wimpering and pain.

This is something that is going into my "Why Temping Sucks: Part II" article...my attic misadventures.

Yesterday was a pretty slow day. I came in, poured my jumbo cup of coffee (mmm, brain juice!) and did my filing. The rest of my morning was divided up into looking out the window at the cold, dark sky and sending sappy emails to the man in my life. (I love him too, by the way!) When I got back from lunch they had an all-new method of torture cooked up for me...the dreaded attic. There are tons of old bins and boxes in the attic, filled with Sales records, reciepts, reports, tickets, you name it. I had to go up there, pull all the old stuff, transfer those from plastic bins to records boxes to be shipped off, then put all the newer stuff towards the back. Luckily for me I brought my workout clothes, fully intending on going to the gym after work. I changed, put a new battery in the world's teeniest mp3 player and commenced to sorting! Within 3 minuites I was covered from head-to-toe in dirt, grime, cob/spiderwebs, and the ever-present dust. I started to get really into what I was doing. The sooner I finshed, the sooner I could come out of the attic, right? I was slinging bins around with gleeful abandon, dodging spiders and hoping that I was making a splendid racket doing so. I finished up in about 3 hours. Yay me! I made my way downstairs, where the dickheads that be informed me that there is not one but TWO attics. And attic #2 is about 3 times the size of attic #1, and much more full.

So the lady I shadow all day, Bobbie, takes me up to Attic #2. It's huge. And...hey! How come it's so dark in here?

Bobbie: Sorry, the light seems to have burned out. You'll have to drag the crates twords the attic door to see what's in them.
Me: Um. Okaaaay.
Bobbie: By the way, you might want to be careful up here. Some guy fell through the floor up here last year. Okay, have fun! (quick exit)
Me: Oh Fuck. This is SO going to be a featured article.

After about 3 minuites of dragging bins to the stupid hole in the floor attic opening, I started to hear something. I wasn't alone!

Imagine me now: Grimy, sweaty, dusty, exhausted, my batteries dead (so no more entertaining and distracting music), dragging huge bins full of paper (do you know how HEAVY that shit is?) to a hole in the floor where the light is coming in, while trying not to fall through the floor myself, and now in the presence of something I can only surmise is of the rodent variety? Yeah, the look on my face was 'comical' to say the least.

I started chucking bins downstairs wildly, (well, kind of) not caring how much noise I was making, because Rats is where I draw the line, thank you very much.

I dragged my bins to the clean, well-lit conference room, slammed them on the table and announced "I'm working in HERE for the rest of the day!"

No one argued.

It took me two hours to sort through 4 bins. I've got almost a hundred to go through.

Ow. My Back.

Sunday, January 22, 2006

Return of the Journals

EEK! Deadlines! I was suppossed to have my Journals article done for Swanky Gruel oh....friday? Instead I've chosen to halfheartedly clean my room and catch up on BSG and Scrubs this weekend. And shop!

So time to backtrack a little bit, to my 'deep thinking and totally depressed' phase. I saved this one because, well, I'm very close to it. It's the Mucha 'Zodiac' journal my parents gave me for christmas in 2000, and I love it. Wanna see a picture?

I guess it could have been a mid-twenties thing, or maybe because I was married to a man who didn't love me...needless to say, there is some *seriously* weird shit in here. For example, my little bon mot on garbage. Ironic now considering my line of work.

"There is a drip and dribble in the scorching asphalt outside, now smoky after the rain. Those tiny rivers and garbage vessels float away down the drains, under the surface. And that is the secret, to see the life that lies beneath the surface, ready and waiting to take our place. And then will We be those garbage vessels? Will we float down the tiny streams? Down the drain? Go under the surface, waiting until the day we come back into the sun?"

I read a few pages more and concluded I was thinking about myself as a Morlock, because I was reading 'The Time Machine' at the time.

Sometimes you look back and are totally surprised that there are things about you that haven't changed all that much, for instance, I bring up this entry...

"Little bits of stories, mixed with little bits of truth. And who ever can tell the difference wins. I never finish my journals. I figured that one day my kids or more likely nieces/nephews would end up with all of these. if I never have kids, I'll give them to Claire. Whoever ends up with all of this stuff will discover a few things: 1 - That I'm a flighty bitch and 2 - that my only identities are the ones superimposed over me. I feel like an almost-clean slate, maybe a little dusty. But don't get me wrong, I'm almost 25, it dosen't bother me. I have a few basics that make me...me.
I am basically always happy."


and again...I must have had some kickin' PMS when i wrote...

"Ever hear the expression 'total crap'? My writing = total crap"

Insecurity isn't sexy in anybody. Especially me. This was all a very dark time in my life. Where I was stuck, tied to the train tracks with the train coming all the closer. What I never realized is that I had a knife in my hands the whole time, It was up to me to cut my own bonds. And when I did, my mood, and the mood of this journal, changed perceptibly. My life is far from perfect right now, but if you look past the inability to get ahead financially, the unfinished degree, and the ever-persistant doubt, you'll see that I am finally happy. This time in my life has held the most challenges, but as Locke says "it's the struggle that makes us stronger".

So to wrap up, the almost-last page of this journal (because it's true, I never do finish them), more bad poetry.

This one is called "L'orange" ::*ahem*::


It's in the thinnest morning light
that I see you standing in the kitchen
peeling an orange
waiting for winter's first thaw

We adhere to our careful canticle
skirting around each other
each of us reluctant
to breach this stasis

but today there is a smallish peace
and I feel you
softening in my arms
your mouth tastes like oranges.


Eeek!

Saturday, January 21, 2006

O, Happy Day!

After yesterday's hoopla, I needed a little Girlfriend Shoppy time. Tara and I went to The Old Mill Antique Mall, which is this old tobacco warehouse in West Columbia that's been converted into a glorious plethora of the old, weird, and downright scary.



  
Here's Tara eyeing the best purchase she's made all day! A beautiful carved headboard & footboard, originally $100, marked down to $50.


  
I would have gotten this for you, Crystal. Sorry the photo turned out so darkish. Classic, and slightly off-putting Elvis Sneer.


  
Could it Be??? Masters of the Universe Sheets??? Yes! It is!


  
She really agonized over whether or not to buy these Canterbury Tales woodcut prints. Since they weren't on sale, we both opted for 'no'.


  
The Joker and Mork hanging out with a big rooster. That's gay.


  
How eerily similar to my own bookshelf this is.


  
I had to put Barbie in her own oven. Because the bitch must die!!!


  
Seriously, how sweet is this?

FINALLY, I show you my own purchases (minus 2, because they are a suprise for a certain somebody)

Risque Postcard!

This replaces my Brom '13' as my favorite piece of art! Check it Bitches!

This is so horrible and upsetting, I don't understand who would hang it up on their walls. I'd line my cat's litterbox with it, personally. Bad Dog!

We started to get tired after about 3 hours and STILL had not even looked at half of the stuff in there. We started to get loopy.


  
Ya think???


p.s. Can anyone please tell me how to remove these stupid caps?

Friday, January 20, 2006

Curses!

I hate you Expedia! I hate you I hate you I hate you!!!

::Stompy::


I was should have got my ticket to MN 3 days ago. When I logged on thrusday night, the price of the ticket had dropped from $193 to $183. Woo! Unfortunately, I didn't get paid until the next day. So right before lunch (and the requiered visit to the bank) Expudia showed the ticket had gone back up to $193. Okay, no big. Upon returning from the bank and logging on to *finally* buy the damned thing...the price had gone up to $310. I immediately burst into tears, mostly out of the sheer frustration I feel when I'm trying to buy something whose fucking price keeps hopping all over the place! You should see me at an auction, I'm a nervous wreck! So I spent the rest of my day cranky, fidgety, and highly pissed off. I could understand the overnight price-hike of $10 dollars or so, but over $100? I called Expedia customer service, where they were, surprisingly, friendly and courteous. Not as though that made a difference to me, I laid into them.

"What...the..Hell? You people wanna explain this shit to me? WHY did the price on my trip go up OVER A HUNDRED DOLLARS?"

I think that their customer service department is used to this question, because they gave me what I can only describe as the Carefully Empathetic Verbal Shrug. "Sorry Miss. It happens. A lot."

This did nothing to calm me down. I raced home from work, blowing off going to the gym with a co-worker, to call Bobi and complain about this fun new development. He let me rant for a minuite before calming me down with the one thing I hadn't tried yet: rational thought. I guess there's something to that after all. Everyone give my manz props, because I don't think he realizes how impossible it usually is to calm me down in mid-rant. Which makes me realize why I want to get the fucking ticket in the first place. Which makes me mad at Expedia again, which causes...

::stompy::

Thursday, January 19, 2006

Lost Spagetti!

My dear friend Skylar came over tonight to get caught up on Lost. My friends are such moochers. But she did bring This. Isn't it the cutest thing you've ever seen?? The dog is pretty adorable too. We don't get to hang out nearly enough anymore, but I do owe her a lot. Like, for instance the phrase "boobie starer". I never would have known what to call old men who can't seem to look you in the eye if not for her genius. Also, she put 2 of my articles up on Swanky Gruel, and upon hearing my cupboards were down to Cream of Mushroom soup, brought me some delicious, extra-meaty spagetti.

Memory Lane Time!

Skylar was temping at my former office, pre-firing, and we were standing outside smoking (back when I still did that. Not counting my birthday indiscretions) when an older, rather grizzled looking man pulled up in a big honkin pickup truck. He rolls down the window, oogles us for a second, then blurts out "Hey! Ya'll buy LASERS?" This is not as insane as it sounds, since the Pit of Despair actually had the word "Laser" in it's name. We just looked at each other for a second, puzzled. We looked back at said man and said, "Uh. What Kind of lasers?". He leered for a second then says "Laser GUNS, o'course!". We shifted uncomfortably, as we tend to do in the presence of pure madness. Me: Um. No. We deal mostly with printers. Him: So....no guns?. Me: No. No guns. He leered again. Grunted and possibly groped that which had probably not been groped in some time. Him: A'ight then. (leaves). Skylar: What the fuck?
Me: shrugs

Hysterical Laughter Ensued, and thus was born a new phrase in the secret language of friends. If you're being cornered by a drooling lunatic who wants to have sex with your ears...that's a "Ya'll buy lasers?"

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

A not-anticipated release.

Dear Sofia Coppola,

How dare you Madam! You want to film a very glam movie about the Queen of all badass glams, Marie Antionette, and cast Cardboard Dunst as the lead? Obviously 'Lost in Translation' has gone to your head. I think the more obvious choice would have been Sarah Michlle Gellar, and I'm not saying that as a Buffy fan. You would think her role in 'Cruel Intentions' was enough to give away that my girl SMG could be as haughty and naugty as the rest of them.

Most sincerely,
PR Bethies.


Tuesday, January 17, 2006

What a little sleep-depravation can do!

After a full day's work powered by naught but 4 hours sleep, it's time to do something fucking goofy. Like...this....


b.o.b.i., be prepared! Because if I win...


You are Taking me to Paris! Of Course...


There Could be dangers.

Tuesday Already?

I'm not an official Self-Portriat Tuesdayer, by I'll thow one in today for the heck of it.

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Cut me some slack! It's 7 am and I haven't had a shower yet!

If I had known that If i was going to make a shirt with Iron-on letters, I shouldn't use a shirt of the 'stretch' variety. I'm hoping it just makes it all the more endearing that my Nonis stretched out the layout so now the shirt looks like this...

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Go Nonis!

As far as things to do go, it was quite fun (and, economical). I must work on that letter spacing next time. I'll use my T-square when I make Crystal's "I Belong To David B." shirt. Or maybe it'll just say 'Pistol'.

Have a great Tuesday everybody. Ashley, WELCOME BACK!!! Glad you're feeling better, and that your voice is back, so we can resume talking about Kelly and Julie, aka the Stick Figure with No Soul.

xoxoxo

Sunday, January 15, 2006

Two-Eight!

I'm 28 today, and feeling every minuite of it. How does 28 feel? Like you've got the youth and vitality of 25 but the conscience of 35. Or something.

Last night I had my first-annual birthday bowling bash! In attendance was my best friend Tara the terror of the lanes, Skylar of the many scarves, Crystal and her Awesome Hair, Crystal's hubby with his smart ass and loss of balance, My friend Tony from high school who wore a belt buckle that said 'fuck off!' and doubled as a bottle opener, Gretta the goth soap-maker and her boyfriend Marc, awesome bowler and Gary Numan Fan. CARS!

We bowled all night (or until midnight-ish), myself frequently using the pre-lane space for such classic dances as the cabbage patch, the rodger rabbit, and the more modern dance simply entitled "Beyonce". I used the phrase "go Fisticuffs on yo azz" with much frequency and enthusiasm, and was in fact tempted to do so on more than one occasion. My theme for my look was Anime`, by the time I got home and got everyone out of the house, the shoes had come off, the makeup was gone, the earrings put away...but here's the gist of it...



I had no idea that shirt said 'Summer' until B.O.B.I. told me. I just knew it said 'Chinatown', and that it was extremely cool.

The morning after (being today, my actual birthday) I awoke with a rather unpleasant taste in my mouth. Pitchers of cheap beer give you morning breath like a dead hobo's asshole. I ache all over, my back and shoulders are particularly unbendy, but was it all worth it?

Hell YES it was! There is nothing better than being surrounded by people you love, being treated like the Queen, The Czar(ina), the Kaiser. And did I mention? Presents! My favorites being the box of fig-flavored Vodka minibottles and 'Tarot on the Go' set from Crystal and Angel. Unfuckingfortunately I left them in her car last night before our beer-induced trip to IHOP.


Gretta the Goth Soap Maker made me these, suprisingly un-goth soaps in my favorite scent, Pearberry.




My mom got me this storage ottoman. It's awesome! the lid flips over and doubles as a serving tray! Now I can 'entertain!' Mizz Mollie Likes it too.


I also got lots of cards! Can you spot who'se hiding in there, ready to pounce on yo azz when you least expect it?

To sum up, 26 and 27 totally SUCKED. I have this incredible feeling like 28 is gonna rock like 25!


The morning after. Swollen x2 face brought to you courtesy of 'Beer'.

Saturday, January 14, 2006

Songs for any mood.

I'm compiling a master library, "Songs for Any Mood", here's what I have so far.

Love Gone Right
Try a little Tenderness - Otis Redding
Come What May - Nicole Kidman & Ewan McGregor (Moulin Rouge Sountrack)
Little Ghost - White Stripes
Make You Feel My Love - Joan Osborne
I Would Die 4 U - Prince
The Origin of Love - Hedwig & The Angry Inch soundtrack
All is Full of Love - Bjork
Share My World - Mary J. Blige
Modern Love - David Bowie
Thirty Three - Smashing Pumpkins
Sea Of Love - Cat Power
Missing You - Des'ree (Romeo & Juliet Soundtrack)
I'll Be Your Mirror - Velvet Underground
The Ship Song - Heather Nova or Nick Cave, either version is great but this song is a must have!

Love Gone Wrong
Around the Corner - Sara Harmer
Joey - Concrete Blonde
If I was your Woman - Gladys Knight & The Pips
Waltz # 2 - Elliott Smith
Come back Traci - Sloppy Seconds
Photobooth - Death Cab for Cutie
Happiness - Abra Moore
Ms. Jackson - Outkast
You're No Rock & Roll Fun - Sleater-Kinney
The First Anniversary - Dismemberment Plan
Tears are in Your Eyes - Yo la Tengo
Space Dog - Tori Amos

Dance in Your Undies!
Rock DJ - Robbie Williams
Obstacle 1 - Interpol
Frank Sinatra - Cake
Let's Dance - David Bowie
Flagpola Sitta - Harvey Danger
Change Clothes - Jay Z Feat. Pharrell
Talk about the Blues - Jon Spencer Blues Explosion
Trunk Fulla Amps - Self
Personal Jesus - Depeche Mode
The Denial Twist - White Stripes
Sparks Are Gonna Fly - The Catherine Wheel
Bulldozer - Fred Schneider


Lie in bed and reflect
Colors and the Kids - Cat Power
That Song - Big Wreck
Backdrifting - Radiohead
Saeglopur - Sigur Ros
Playboy Mommy - Tori Amos
All Mine - Portishead
Be Thou My Vision - Pedro the Lion
O I Sleep - Mogwai
Pillars - Sunny Day Real Estate
Tunnels (Neigborhood #1) - Arcade Fire
Plainsong - The Cure
Yulunga - Dead Can Dance

Enjoy, Perhaps with some beer?

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Friday, January 13, 2006

Silly Little Girl

For some reason I decided to un-shelve my old journals and read through them. Now if you could just pass me that book of matches, Thanks.

The first one reads like a cross between some new agey cult brochure (was into some kind of native American sage-burning bullshit at the time. I'm not even remotely native American) and an epic poem on how wonderful, sweet, and absolutely, totally perfect my ex husband was. I was young and foolish...

Journal #1 is some vellum-type paper, softcover with a big fucking peace sign on it. Egad.

March 15th (watch out, Julius!) 1998...

Much of my anxiety has been because of my long-distance relationship with my boyfriend Cole. He's amazing, so full of wonderful light. I've been mostly depressed because we're mostly apart.

After reading this I discovered 2 things. #1, My gag reflex still works and #2, teenage girls are STUPID. "Mostly Depressed"? This crap goes on for AN ENTIRE BOOK, me talking about how life is like some beautiful scary forest and how I draw power from mama earth, etc. I never thought that when I got to be this age I could look back at my former self and bitch-slap her, but I so could right now.

Journal # 2 is hardcover, festooned with hideous purple roses. I remember I bought this at Target, back when Target used to suck. I can't read many of the entries because they got all wet and runny when my car ran into a ditch and filled with mud. If I was to sniff the pages, I'm sure they would still smell faintly of mud. But I'm not gonna.

I think the biggest laugh-riot in this journal would be the "poems" of which I will give you, gentle readers, the pleasure of laughing at...This little bon mot is called 'Blue Moon'. *shudder*

The children have gone home
their laughter lingers
the shadows of yesterday paint themselves
on the dreams of the old
as young lovers stir in their beds
Memories blanket sleep
the sound of the piano,
the curve of a neck in the moonlight.
There we were in the middle of it all,
looking stupidly up at the sky,
All the while you never understood the concept
of a Blue Moon.
Fumbling hands and sloppy kisses interrupted
By the buzzing of mosquitoes who play
slip n' slide on your back.
Briefly dreams turn to prayers
as mouths collide under neon.


Okaaay...What the FUCK?
Only I could have mosquitoes and slip n' slide together. Mouths collide? I'll be busy stabbing myself in the neck.
A funny side note about this "poem", there is a footnote that says "For the Fucker who Totally did NOT deserve this".
I can't remember who I wrote it about now.

There are a few other funny things I've stuck in this book. One of them is a post-it that just says "$80/Ounce". Obviously I was very organized when it came to buying pot. Another thing is a letter my ex's ex-girlfriend sent him that I intercepted. Which is childish and stupid, but I think the reason I kept it was this...(keep in mind I spelled everything verbatim so not to risk the integrity of this letter)...

"Pamela was saying , or catogorzing people today. Lake wanna be preps and things like that. I'd think I'd fall in the alternative, devil worshipping kind. I'm sorry buy my dark side comes from Love of Lusifer."

....

BWAHAHAHAHA! That shit STILL cracks me up after all these years. Poor girl. Oh yeah and Lusifer called, and he's pissed that you spelled his name wrong! Looks like you're going to HEAVEN, bitch!

Journal #3 is as far as I can go without killing myself tonight...I've got a total of SEVEN. #3 I filled up back in '03, when I first moved out on my own. I think someone nearby was smoking crack when I wrote this...

"I rule and here's why:
it would probably take a Nobel laureate to match my mind. Not vain, true. I can do everything. I haven't tried drywall yet, but I know I can do it. *KABOOM* I don't hate my hooters anymore!"


That one I actually like. I had no idea I had ever EVER called them 'hooters'.

There is a lot of stuff in here about my Old Friend, and I read it and cringe, just a bit. There are also lists titled simply "Words I Like". Ookaaay. Let's have a look, shall we?

Spruce
Raw
Accumulate
Leafless
Chortled
Plums

Huh?

More rad poetry later. For now, Wine!

To hell with work...

When I was a young twenty-something, a mere 21, I spent a lot of time at a little bar called Brewers. I have to agree with Carlin on one thing, places where single people go to hunt always have names that end with an 's'. Anyway, I was just beginning to master the drunk come-on. There was this guy I really liked, who I really wanted to spend some time with, in a naked sort of way. He was in my Advanced Lit class, a bass player, and a redhead to boot. Meow. So I hung out at the bar frequently, doing tequila shots and throwing come-hither looks like sharp pointy sticks. None of it worked. NONE of it. I discovered something then, we you like someone and they don't like you back, you feel crushed. But when you go to the absurd lengths that I did, you feel low. I've learned a lot about myself since then, for example what NOT to do when you like someone. What not to do is down tequila. That's what not to do EVER. Now a simple "hi! I like you! Let's make out!" suffices, but this whole event inpsired something in me at the time, that something being a country-western album.

Not that country is particularly my genre, but when you're the only girl in a bar, doing tequila shots and flirting with a boy who dosen't know you exist, what else fits?

Here are some of the song titles my friend Charlee and I collaborated on at the time...

"Last Girl at the Bar"
"To hell with work, let's stay home and screw!"
"I can't believe. (I peed in the woods for you)"
"If you care, say it with a hickey."

Not enought for a full album, but could maybe be an EP.

Aside from all that, I left the Wonderful World of tequila because Blackouts? Not fun. And I stay away from all bars that end with the letter 's'.

I can't believe B.O.B.I. also plays Magic: The Gathering! We's about to rumble, bitches!

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My dad loved this cardboard box. He's also very strange.

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Apparantely neither myself nor Trevor had ever heard of 'Furniture', we were such crazy kids! Always sitting on the Floor! My clutter so artfully scattered around us.

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

Don't call me Brenda.

If Crystal get's to have her obligitory post about stirrups then dammit so do I.

It's not as if going to the "lady doctor" isn't difficult enough for us girls, how awkward do you think it is when it's someone you know giving the exam? My friend Becky's mom is the new Nurse Practicioner at the clinic I go to. Imagine my surprise that Becky's Mom would now know me better than most of the men I've dated.

So today Becky's Mom found a not so lovely lump in my lovely lady lump. (God how I hate that song). She's sending me to yet another Doctor where I have to get an ultrasound on it. An ultrasound...there. An amusing mental picture, to say the least.

For your amusement, some Buffy Tarot Cards I made.

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Thursday, January 05, 2006

Love, Again.

So this wednesday was my Old Friend's Birthday. I invited him over for dinner, thinking he'd decline. To my great surprise and queasiness he accepted, and I made him Teryaki Chicken with rice and his favorite, peas (which are, incidentally, also my favorite). I cooked while he sat at the kitchen table, drinking sweet tea, making small talk. I was so nervous I burned my chicken.

After a while we started talking about his mothers illness, and I saw for the first time why he was here, because he needed to be here, needed to let some of this pressure off of his chest. In the seven years I've known him I had never seen him get so emotional. He also told me about his father, which he has never ever talked about to me in all these years. Tonight I experienced something I didn't think possible.

I felt love shift.

It was so subtle I barely noticed it. But after a few hours of talking and laughing and almost crying I felt how misplaced my feelings have been all this time. I still love him like a crazy person, but I know now it's because of him, and not because of an unrequited crush. He basically told me tonight that I'm his only friend. The only person he can talk to about these things, the only one in his life outside of immediate family he can trust. I know now we'll never 'be' together, and that suits me just fine.

Last year for his birthday I gave him a tiny ceramic elephant. It's about a half an inch high and if I had held on to it, I would have lost it within hours.

He still has it.

That's love.

And that kind of love is the only kind I need from him. It's plenty.

Friday, December 30, 2005

Clickety Click Click

Swanky Gruel is up! Please click the linkety link link on my sidebar and read all my articles. Because I? Am Awesome.

Friday, December 23, 2005

Holidaze

It's the friday before Christmas and I soooo don't feel like going to work. What I actually feel like doing is staying home and baking all day.

I hope everyone out there has a nice holiday. If you celebrate Xmas, then Merry Xmas!

My parents didn't buy anyone Xmas presents this year. Instead they made a donation in everyone's names to St. Jude's Children's Hospital, which is a cancer research & treatment hospital that treats sick kids, no matter what their finanicial status is. It's an awesome notion, and I was happy to sacrifice a bunch of little gifts for this much worthier cause.

Plus, my birthday is in 3 weeks so I'll have that satisfying tearing-open of gifts then.

Friday, December 16, 2005

Self-Portrait Friday

Your results:
You are Catwoman
Catwoman
95%
Hulk
95%
Wonder Woman
75%
Iron Man
70%
Supergirl
60%
Green Lantern
55%
The Flash
50%
Spider-Man
45%
Superman
40%
Robin
32%
Batman
25%
You have had a tough childhood,
you know how to be a thief and exploit others
but you stand up for society's cast-offs.
Click here to take the "Which Superhero are you?" quiz...



In keeping with tradition....


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I'm sleepy, splotchy, and one eye is bigger than the other. But Revel in the sexiness!!!

Friday, December 09, 2005

New Photo Fun!

My dad let me borrow his *sweet* camera, so I've been clickety click clicking away. Here are a few self-portraits....


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Monday, December 05, 2005

Hey wait! Maybe I AM a cliche!

Because I am a woman, and I do love the shoes. I love the shoes so much, in fact, that I purchased a pair of Bandolinos for $78 this weekend, a steal!

Only thing is, I AM frugal nowadays (now that I have to spend my own money that I earn) so it seemed a little self-indulgent to me. But really, let's break it down.

I'm not married, I've got no kids, so really I only have money to spend on my bills, my cats, and myself. And that? Is awesome. Call me shallow (or don't, whichever) but there is something that feels SO GOOD about waking up on a saturday after working a 52 hour week, telling Josh Holloway "it's time to wake up, honey" and spending the day in World Market, Pier 1, Target, and so on and so on. Best purchase of the week was a tie between my faux-fur shrug and my Bill Maher "I'm Swiss!" DVD. I also got Eddie Izzards "Definite Article" which is awesome, but 'Dress to Kill' will always be my #1 fave.

By the way, a big "I Wish" on the Josh Holloway thing.

My friend Sally had a Hot Liquor party this weekend. I never knew how divine hot chocolate could be when teamed up with the right booze. And the eggnog had WISKEY in it, and a lot of it. So anyway, for no other reason other than there wouldn't be a single straight guy there, I glammed out 50's style. I got more compliments on my silver screen look than I've gotten put together all year.